Your Name is a Memory
by Luna rain18
Summary: Alternative New Moon. Ten years later. Bella is married to an abusive man and Edward is trying to get her back. Bella is broken so it is not as easy as it appears. If I told you anymore it would spoil it! The prologue is a middish place not the start.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All Characters relating to Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer**

**Your Name is a Memory **

_Lying beside you  
Listening to you breathe  
The life that flows inside of you  
Burns inside of me  
Hold and speak to me  
Of love without a sound  
Tell me you will live through this  
And I will die for you  
Cast me not away  
Say you'll be with me  
For I know I cannot  
Bear it all alone- Evanescence_

_Prologue_

Maybe this is the end or only the beginning, there could be another life or maybe we meet again in the after world but nothing can be here and now. Earth is a meaningless place with few redeeming qualities. Everyone wants something and nothing is ever good enough when they get it, they have already moved on to wanting something else. I have learned nothing and I have received the equivalent. The dues can never be paid and I can't bear to count my ever increasing debt. I cause nothing but pain even to end my own pain would create pain for others but I only want this sweet release, to hold my angel in my burning arms as I descend to the pits of hell where I belong. One last moment with the angel and I will take my punishment without complaint. My open once again.

I stand here on the edge of this tall building. I don't remember how I got here... My brain has betrayed me again; everything I have created is slowly fading. I face the Truth and it is shattered. No beginning, no end, I am nothing, this is all made up and when I wake up everything will be back to normal and familiar.

"Get Down from there now!" The voice is familiar but so wrong. It cannot be. I'll choose to ignore it. Is this, what always happening before the end you begin to go madder than you already were and everything feels more real than it once was? That voice is not real or is it and to that singing sound blessing my ears... It isn't.

_**The sad truth is that the truth is sad. - Lemony Snicket**_


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter One_

Bella's POV (Age 28)

_**To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day,  
All in the morning betime,  
And I a maid at your window,  
To be your Valentine.  
Then up he rose, and donn'd his clothes,  
And dupp'd the chamber-door;  
Let in the maid, that out a maid  
Never departed more.**_

_**By Gis and by Saint Charity,  
Alack, and fie for shame!  
Young men will do't, if they come to't;  
By cock, they are to blame.  
Quoth she, before you tumbled me,  
You promised me to wed.  
So would I ha' done, by yonder sun,  
An thou hadst not come to my bed.- Hamlet Act4 scene 5 **_

Ten years, one month, two days, and five hours. Why am I still counting? He left me; he doesn't and never loved me. I cannot stop counting. I sit in my home office dragging my fingers across the mahogany surface, waiting for my documents to open on my computer. Nicholas saunters into the room and puts his arms around me while leaning inward against the chair. He kisses my hair; we both look at each other through the mirror sitting across the room. I shrug his hands off of me and get back to my work. He moves to the front of my desk and sits on the corner. He fumbles around with a foam hand stress ball and drops it. I watch him as he picks it up. He goes back to sitting on the corner of my desk. I sit frigid unable to think coherently. Out of the corner of my eye I can see him staring at me like I am a possession rather than a human.

"You seem frazzled today Bells, what is eating you? If it is about that important investor dinner tonight at the Twilight Grill don't worry about it everything will be fine." I love how he assumes that everything thought I have is about him, it is quite the opposite. I sit up a bit straighter to look at him. It is always about him isn't, I mumble to myself. He comes around my desk and moves my laptop a bit and sits down on the middle of the desk in front of me and crosses his arms in what predictably will be anger or ridicule. "You haven't even asked me about my day today? Or if I may or may not possibly have some of the greatest news ever." He doesn't even give me a chance to answer him. "I do and it will solve all of your problems" He says the last words with disgust. I feel my own anger boiling up.

"Like I need to know about you and that whore Jessica Stanley and whomever else you may have been with." I spit the words out with emphasis on each one. "I told you to stop sleeping with her, she has a big mouth and I would like to retain some dignity. Not to mention the possibility of some sort of disease from her." I say coldly. I shrug the idea of him sleeping with her off like a bad cold. I should have never even been her friend; she didn't even disserve that much. I move to get up but his hands grab my shoulders and plop me back down into my seat with little effort on his part.

"Now you listen to me Isabella," He tilts my head up to face him. I look into his lust and anger filled eyes. "You are my trophy wife, you will do as I say and I will do as I want. You got that Isabella?" He whispers my name into my ear. I wish I could be as small as I feel sitting in this chair right now. I feel my tears welling up in my eyes. "Now, now I did mention solving the problem. I give you one guess. His eyes light up immediately. "Wait never mind that I am just going to come out and say it; Jessica is pregnant." All the air bottled up in my lungs whooshes out and I feel completely enraged. I stand up and walk towards the door throwing his hands off of me.

"How does that solve any problem it just fucking creates more fucking problems. How could you do this, no wait I am glad you have done this, I hope the skank ruins you." I walk out of the room and out the door. I need some air or better yet a new life. I consider taking my car for a drive but decide to walk. I walk over to Madison Park North Beach. It is another sunless day in Seattle. I never did move far away in hopes that he would come back to Forks. I am beginning to think I should have moved somewhere sunny and warm. My life would have been very different if I had just let it go years ago.

I kick a small rock sitting on a jogging path. Who the fuck does Nick he think he is? I kick the stone again, this time with more force; it skids off the path and into a small pond, I continue walking. I should just leave or run but he would kill me if I did. It took him about five minutes after we got married for him to show his true colours but at least I tried to move on from Ed-ward. At the time seemed like I had, sure I was settling for second best but there was nothing I could do about that. I head to the nearest park bench that is empty and sit. It is getting later in the day and no one is really around, no one to talk to, nothing.

"I hope you are happy, where ever the fuck you are. I tried so damn fucking hard to be happy and move on and it all amounts to nothing, this is your fault and I hope you are living in misery and agony." I hate you Edward Cullen. The last words pass my lips in a jumbled whispering mess. I just can't say it out loud, his name it haunts me. I need to put on a brave face, wipe the tears from my eyes, fix my make-up and head back home and act as if nothing is wrong. If he is planning on taking me to hell then I will drag him down with me. I walk back to the house as slow as possible, if it were even possible I would not come back at all but I don't need one of Nick's men to hunt me down, especially not Mike. He still hasn't gotten over me and it gets creepier every time I have to go near him. I knock on the door even though it is mine physically not mentally. Kate, the maid opens it up for me. I head up stairs to the bathroom to fix my hair, and redo my make-up, get dressed for that stuck up supper. I swear to god I will murder the next old man that checks me out the entire night. I absolutely hate investor suppers, nothing but old gross men smoking imported cigars and talking about how rich they are. I go to the closet to look for a dress. Nick walks into the closet a couple of minutes later.

"You should wear the blue one." Nick hints. There is no way in hell I will wear blue.

"Nope, I think I will wear this rust coloured dress." I hold the dress against my chest. This is the colour that my heart is, rusty, a dagger had gone through it a long time ago and now the blood is all dried up and rusty. He gives me a murderous glance and crosses his arms. "That look isn't going to work this time. "I will wear what I FUCKING WANT TO and maybe, just maybe I will not tell our not your investors about Jessifuck because let's face it you are nothing without me. Got me?" I give him the same glance he is giving me and cross my arms. "Leave the room I need to get dressed." He grabs his tie and complies.

"Could you at least help me with my tie, after you are done?" Everything about us is so bipolar. Nice one minute, a bitch the next.

"I don't know we will have to see." I smirk and kick him out the door. I throw my dress on in a hurry and walk back down to the living room. Nick sits in a chair all knowing like he is something, maybe at one point he was but he crossed that line a long time ago."Do you still need your tie done properly?"

"No, I am fine, just get in the car." He doesn't even open my door. I sit complacent and fiddle with the knobs on the stereo hoping there is some good music on so I don't have to sit here awkwardly with him. Drat there is nothing on the radio besides dub-step crap and auto-tune crap, which is pretty much the same thing. I guess I will have to settle with awkward conversation.

"So, who is the old man you are going to swindle money out of this time."

"He is not old actually, I think he is younger than Me." he says.

"Ok, fine then who is the young dumb and naive man you have wanting to invest." I reply frustrated.

"Um." He says while trying to navigate on the busy street. "I can't really remember his name it was something like Edwin, Ed or something really stupid. He has cancelled on me a couple of times now. I have only talked to him a handful of times and get this he apparently likes men. I mean what guy like him, looks like that and is into women, way to groomed I say. I almost didn't even want to partner with him because you know I mean I know that some people are okay with that sort of thing but I just can't have that but then he flashed a lot of cash I mean a lot the guy is loaded like you wouldn't believe, so I agreed to this "family dinner" I would not be surprised if he brought his boyfriend. I bet I could sucker him out a lot of money by the end of the night. The guy is so stupid." It is rants like these that make me wish I had a recorder on at all times, I could ruin him the way he has slowly ruined me.

We pull into the valet parking of the restaurant, the restaurant is a nice place, been to better but this place isn't the worst place I have eaten at before. Nick cuts the engine and I unbuckle my seat belt. Nick leans towards me and out stretches his arm to stop me from opening the door. "Don't do anything stupid tonight...Dear." I cock my head to face him.

"What the fuck is that suppose to mean?" I ask quizzically. He moves his hand back to his side. He looks outside the front window tensely. He then turns his head back to me.

"Just place nice, keep your pretty fucking mouth shut and you won't get in trouble Isabella. It is as simple as that." He smiles while grinding down on his teeth. He then opens his door and gets out of the car, before I can open my door he opens it up for me, grabs my hand to escort me out. I guess it is time for the pretty little show to begin. We walk hand in hand to the door. I wonder if it would be worth it to get in a little trouble tonight. Gosh what am I try to do, relive my last high-school year as adrenaline junkie again. Jake was never a good influence, by the end of the year we had a stash of at least a thousand items we had shop lifted from various places. Not to mention the motor bikes we tore up the road with. I still kind of miss riding on one. I have made up my mind though, tonight is just not the night to start shit.

"Reservations for Moon-Corp," Nick says while staring at the waitresses breasts. The hand of his that I am holding gets yanked hard. "Ouch, what is that for?" he whispers

"You better be on your best behaviour." I whisper back.

"He is your table in a private room; I assume you are waiting for the rest of your party?" She checks him out while she talks.

"Yes we are." He says with a shit eating grin.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" I love how she is only talking to him.

"No I think we will wait until the rest of the party shows up." I say tensely. I take a seat at the end of the table. The table is a little big to seat five but I like that I won't have to be really close to him tonight. "Don't even think of trying to move me from this spot."

"Whatever, I don't really care where you sit. I need to make sure the car is parked properly, I'll be right back." He kisses my cheek as he leaves. I sense that he is most likely going to go fuck that waitress or proposition it for later. I rest my elbows on the table and rest my head between my hands. I distract myself to keep the tears from pouring out. There is an interesting piece of artwork to my left. I think it is a painting of Spain or maybe it is France but that would not make sense because we are in an Italian restaurant. I look at the next piece of artwork beside it, it is a fruit bowl.

"The table is right this way men, the rest of your party have already arrived. I'll be right back with a wine list." I don't pay attention to the men who have entered it is not my place I don't want the money. Nick comes back a moment later.

"Hello Nicholas it is a pleasure to do business with you." That voice, it sounds like Edward but it just cannot be. I feel instantly paralyzed. "These are my associates Emmett and Jasper." I continue pretending staring at the painting uninterested but I am pretty sure Edward knows exactly how uncomfortable I am.

"This is my wife Isabella." I still can't move to utter a single word or even acknowledge the other people in the room. My mind keeps replaying that scene in the forest. He doesn't love me why is he back to torment me some more. "Bells, are you alright?" I feel all the repressed resent and angry building up. I will not give Edward the satisfaction of knowing how badly he hurt me.

"I'm fine dear. It is a pleasure to meet you all." I take a glance at Edward. Something is off, everything is all wrong with him. His eyes are no longer black or gold and now that I think about it his voice was a little rough sounding, not as smooth as it use to be. The waitress interrupts my thoughts.

"Here is the wine list and here are the menus." She passes out the menus and while she gives one to Nick I see her slip a little piece of paper in his menu, Stupid bitch.

"Do any of you have a preference for the wine?" Nick says.

"No."

"Ok then we will have the best you have got." The waitress takes back the wine list and heads back to the kitchen, I assume. I hide my face behind my menu. Nick talks to Edward, Emmett, and Jasper about god knows what, I assume business. We eventually order our food and eat, the men talk about things, I don't bother to concern myself with their chatter. I don't even bother to look at Edward to check if he is staring at me.

"Would you all excuse me?" Crap Nick is leaving me here all alone with them. Where is he going anyway? I sigh knowing the answer to my stupid question. We all sip our wine awkwardly, no one making a move to discuss the elephant room.

"Ok, you know what I am done with this awkwardness. Even if you told me not to, I am going to do it." Emmett says. I stare down at my plate, confused. I look up and stare at Emmett. He looks just as funny as Edward does. I look at Jasper sure enough he looks different as well. They are vampires, unchanging, unmoving, this doesn't make an ounce of sense. "So...Bella, how are you." Emmett says with a giant grin. I immediately suspect that if there was not a table here right now I would be the recipient of an Emmett hug.

"I am great, thank you? Uh..how are you?" I say coldly.

"I am pretty good; I have two little rascals running around now so it is interesting to say the least." I immediately feel confused by Emmett's statement.

"I am sorry, what do you mean by rascals?" He looks at me like I am supposed to understand, when clearly I do not.

"He doesn't mean anything Bella." Edward cuts in. I whip my head in his direction.

"So you have chosen now to talk to me. Well I guess I should feel special." I feel myself losing control of my emotions. "What the fuck are doing here Ed-ward, you don't want to do business with Nick, so why? You want to torment me some more. I think you have done enough damage to last a century, how about this Edward, go the highest cliff, climb and jump off of it in a deadly suicide." I stand up and throw my half full wine glass across the room; it hits the side of his face with a sickening sound. I sit down in shock of what I have just done. I cover my hands over my face in shame. I hear Nick enter the room.

"What the hell happened in here?" he says clearly amused but that amusement will turn to anger soon enough. "Did you throw your wine glass at him?" He now yells very loudly at me.

"She didn't throw it at me it was my god damn brother." Edward says pissed. He clutches his cheek and there is blood pouring through the napkin. He must be so angry at me. What how is he bleeding? What the fuck is going on here? Nick looks around the table.

"Is that so? Well I wonder why my wife's glass is missing. There is no point in lying to me about what my wife has done. I will deal with her later. Isabella go wait. In. The. Car." He points to the door like he is my father grounding me to my room. I comply because I have already dug myself a deep hole.

"I am so sorry for throwing that glass at you." I say. Edward nods his head in understanding but he looks scared. I walk out the door quickly. I head outside to get the car and wait for Nick and whatever ugly personality he has brought to the car with him. The valet brings the car up and hands me the keys I get in the car and park it, get out, sit in the passenger's seat and turn on the radio to calm my nerves. Total eclipse of the heart plays after a One Republic song and I break down, that song is making everything worse so I turn off the radio. Sometime later Nick opens the door and hops in the car, he slams the door shut and we drive home in silence. I wish we would be hit by a car on the way home because that would be kinder than what he will do to me when we get home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All Characters relating to Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer**

Edwards POV (Age 25)

"..._**When we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended".-Lemony Snicket**_

Tonight's the night and I am sweating bullets. She won't forgive me. She shouldn't forgive me. I am going to hell for all I have done. Although my selfish side, can't help but feel that since I found a way to be with her that maybe all past debts have been atoned for and she will forgive me. I can't even convince myself of the justification of that. She is married now, I have already lost, no wait I lost the moment I left her, like a coward. My family is pushing me to try and fight for her though, that is why I made a fake business and got in touch with her husband, to get close to her. I will fund his awful business if it means I get to see her again. No amount of money could compare to having her in my arms again. Get up, get dressed pretend to exist, repeat. My life is non-existent without her. I might as well be dead.

"You ready to go?" Emmett says as he barrels into my room, he really doesn't understand the concept of privacy. "Don't tell me you are chickening out again." He goes to tuck his hands underneath his arm pits and starts to flap his arms. I roll my eyes at him and grab my tie.

"Don't you dare start making chicken noises at me too? You have children and you are acting like one, grow up." I scold him. I walk past him and down the stairs. "How did you even get into my house?"

"Esme gave a key to me."

"Well do you think that means you can just walk in here whenever you feel like it?" I yell at him.

"You really are touchy tonight, I mean I get it Bella is likely to hate your guts and pretty much cast you to hell." I had not even thought of that possibility, thanks, Emmett for putting that thought in my already tormented head. I lean against the wall next to the outside door. My feet feel like they are made of cement. As if Emmett could sense my distress he begins talking again. "You know I am most likely wrong." I begin to worry about another million possible outcomes of tonight. Emmett grabs my shoulder in a comforting manner and leads us to the car where Jasper is in the driver's seat.

I sit in the back of the car rubbing my temples. I contemplate telling Jasper to stop the car and turn around several times. I really can't do this. She doesn't love me anymore. She'll hate me. My mind fills with more adjectives to describe what a cruel monster I am. We pull up to the restaurant; everyone gets out of the car except me. I watch as Jasper goes to hand the valet the keys.

"Get out of the car Edward; don't make me drag you out." Jasper says. He wouldn't really drag me out he couldn't really drag me out. I am bigger than him. The door swings open violently, if he was still a vampire it would have ripped cleanly off the hinges. How did we even come to this point? Hours upon hours of research done because of a rumour I heard when I was moping in Brazil. This rumour of a vampire that had a different kind of venom, this venom could change a vampire back to their former human state, exactly what I wanted. After I heard that rumour I returned to my family to get some help to look into it. I promised myself I would scour the earth to find a way to become human, so I could be with my love. Now I am scared of even looking at her. The loud talking pulls me from my mind and Emmett all but tugs my arm off to get me out of the car.

"It's now or never." I silently mumble to myself too quiet for anyone else to hear it. I feel like I am taking two steps forward and two steps back. Jasper takes the lead when we get into the restaurant because I feel like I am choking on my words. The waitress is eyeing me though; I am lucid enough to notice that. I guess not having a ring on my finger will do that. Each step I take towards the private dining room, I place another piece of my composure mask on. I need to be strong.

"The table is right this way men, the rest of your party have already arrived. I'll be right back with a wine list." I look at Bella, she is staring off at the painting, and my eyes drift over to the painting she is staring at. Something is bugging her, the worry lines are painted firmly on her forehead and between her eyes. Maybe it has to do with that asshole not being here right now. Unfortunately I know all too well how this type of game works; she has become a trophy wife. Why on earth would she do this sort of thing, this is not like her at all but then again how well did I actually know her. She deserves better though I know that much. That bastard comes waltzing like we don't all know what he was just doing. I put on my best façade pray things don't take a turn for the worse tonight.

"Hello Nicholas it is a pleasure to do business with you. These are my associates Emmett and Jasper." We all shake hands and sit down.

"This is my wife Isabella." He says this as if she is a piece of property. I don't have to read minds to know what he is thinking about. It will take all my strength tonight not to strangle him and what is with calling her Isabella; she never goes by that unless of course things have changed, could they have changed that much? "Bells, are you alright?" I pull my head out of my thoughts and look over to Bella to make sure she is alright, she looks fine physically but mentally it could be a different story, what I would give to read her thoughts or Nicks for that matter. Bella turns to Nick and then to us.

"I'm fine dear. It is a pleasure to meet you all." I wince silently at the word dear, he doesn't deserve that title. I can feel her eyes sizing me up as I look at the monotonous wallpaper. Has she realized what I am now?

"Here is the wine list and here are the menus."The waitress says.

"Do any of you have a preference for the wine?" Nick says.

"No."

"Ok then we will have the best you have got." Nick retorts back. I go back to staring at Bella but she has hidden her face behind a menu, always hiding her face from me, doesn't she realize that I need to see her eyes and her beautiful mouth. It keeps me sane.

"Edward?" Nick interrupts my thoughts. We are about halfway through supper and she won't look at me.

"I am sorry what were you saying?" I reply.

"I was just talking about that company Newton corp. And how it went down the other day and was wondering your opinion on it. Mike occasionally works for me and has this business on the side. He was asking me to invest into but I was like, dude your company is so out of place and now I am just like thank god I didn't invest in that crap. " Dry boring conversation, this man just can't make good conversation.

"I could have told you it was going down from the beginning Mike was never a bright man. The poor bastard had what was coming to him." I hear Emmett snicker beside me.

"Really what did he do?" he replies eager to hear the gossip.

"Nothing really I went to high-school with him and always knew he would never make it. He was always having problems with basic skills."

"Oh" he says with disappointment attached to his voice. I guess he was expecting something juicier. I look over to Bella; she keeps her head down constantly.

"Would you all excuse me?" Nick says. Hell yes he is leaving; my mind is doing mental high fives. Ten minutes goes by and nothing no says a word, the silence becomes uncomfortable. Until Emmett goes to clear his throat, I kick his foot. He knows the rules, that asshole. I glare at him. I told them both not to talk to her unless I said so.

"Ok, you know what I am done with this awkwardness. He glares back at me. "Even if you told me not to, I am going to do it." She looks up and looks at Emmett confused and then looks at Jasper. I have no clue what she is thinking. "So...Bella, how are you."

"I am great, thank you? How are you?" she says unsure. Emmett responds quickly.

"I am pretty good; I have two little rascals running around now so it is interesting to say the least." She opens her mouth and closes it again, she seems completely unsure of what Emmett just said, why couldn't Emmett just kept his mouth shut about that.

"I am sorry, what do you mean by rascals?" she replies looking for an explanation. I need to stop this from getting any worse.

"He doesn't mean anything Bella." I cut in. I stare at her waiting for her to say something anything

"So you have chosen now to talk to me. Well I guess I should feel special." I wasn't expecting this from her. "What the fuck are doing here Ed-ward, you don't want to do business with Nick, so why? You want to torment me some more. I think you have done enough damage to last a century, how about this Edward, go the highest cliff you can and then climb it only to jump off of it in a deadly suicide." I feel my heart sinking lower, she right though I am a miserable excuse for a man. I watch her closely without a word to say to her. She then stands up and throw her half full wine glass across the room; it hits the side my face with a sickening blow, I didn't even bother to dodge it. Pain is at least something to feel tonight. Nicks footsteps come back in the room heavily.

"What the hell happened in here?" he says. "Did you throw your wine glass at him?" He yells very loudly now. I grab my napkin and put it against my cheek to stop the river flowing from my face and snap back to reality, he is angry now and he could hurt her. I can't let that happen.

"She didn't throw it at me it was my god damn brother." I say pissed at him for yelling at the innocent looking beauty.

"Is that so? Well I wonder why my wife's glass is missing. There is no point in lying to me about what my wife has done. I will deal with her later. Isabella go wait. In. The. car." He says in a clipped tone. She holds her head down in shame

"I am so sorry for throwing that glass at you." She says meekly. I want to grab her and take her somewhere safe away from this prick. She leaves the room in a hurry.

"Look Nick, don't worry about the glass or my face, I kind of had it coming. I knew Bel—Isabella in high-school and I took her on a date and then never spoke to her again. This won't affect our deal. I am willing to partner with you." He looks at me like I am an idiot but then quickly changes his face back to a more composed look. If anyone is the idiot it is him, I will make sure he ends up with nothing if I so happen to see a hair on her head missing.

"Uh, that sounds great how about we draw up a contract and you come over to my house to look over and sign in this upcoming Thursday night at about seven-ish." He says as he scrolls through his blackberry.

"Sounds great Nick, I will be there," I say.

"Come- on Edward let's get Carlisle to look at your cheek," Prods Jasper. Emmett and Jasper grab my arms and lead me out of the restaurant and to Esme's and Carlisle's house. I guess the cut must be pretty bad, I can't feel a thing though. The drive to Carlisle and Esme's house goes by in a blur. I am sitting in his study as he is stitching up my face that is all I can remember before I fall asleep. I awaken in an unfamiliar room with unfamiliar sounds echoing the halls, A baby is wailing somewhere near. I role over and try to go back to sleep, when I realize I am at my parents house, all of last comes flooding back in to my head. I quickly jump out of bed, open my bedroom door and head towards the stairs. I see Carlisle in the flash of my peripheral. He approaches me holding his son Aden who is wailing uncontrollable.

"Calm down son, where are you going?" he says to me as he switches holding Aden from his left hip to his right. I stare at him looking helpless with his son, but I can't come up with a response for him; so I hold out my hands to hold Aden for Carlisle. He gives Aden to me without a second thought. Aden calms down immediately. Carlisle raises his arms in defeat "I don't know how you do that," he shakes his head "I was just about to call Esme to ask for her help."

"Is Esme not home"? I ask as we head down the stairs.

"No, she Alice and Rose went shopping."

"Oh," I reply. We walk in silence to the kitchen, I put Aden down in his highchair and Carlisle grabs a bib, a spoon and a jar of baby food. "Do you want me to feed him?"

"Nope, I should be good from here but you do need to eat yourself you know. There is some bacon and eggs in the fridge." I walk over to the fridge and grab the food and bring it back to the counter by the stove.

"Do you want some too Carlisle?" He turns to answer me and gets a mouth full of orange baby food hurled at him. The kid has good aim.

"Yeah sure," he says as he wipes the food off himself. I go back to cooking breakfast.

"You know Aden you should not throw your food, huh Aden," Carlisle coos to Aden.

"You never did tell me...Edward." I turn around.

"Yeah," I reply.

"I was just asking you about what happened at dinner last night." I plate our food and sit down at the island in the middle of the kitchen.

"I don't know what you want me to tell you, she hates my guts." I say looking down as I stir my food around on my plate. The food seems more interesting to look at then Carlisle's questioning eyes.

"I am sure she is shocked to see you again and she does have the right to be angry with you but if you told her what happened, then maybe she will come around. She is married though, and she isn't one of those people who will jump and stop everything at the drop of a hat. You might just have to settle as just being her friend... for the time being." He says between bites of food. I stand up and put my dishes in the sink.

"You don't understand, I am about ninety nine percent sure he is hurting her and if he lays a hand on her he is as good as dead." I ball my hands up. "She is in danger, I can tell, the guy is a prick."

"Edward, that is not appropriate language in front of Aden and as much as you hate him that will not solve your problems.

"How do you even know he is hurting her?" I avoid his gaze. "Edward you have no proof and I highly doubt Bella would put herself through that kind of hurt, she is not stupid. She would have left if he hurt her. I think you are acting a bit paranoid and need to relax." He chides.

"Nick has a temper and I fear for her safety." I shout this and leave the house I hear Aden begin to cry but I continue to walk, I even slam the door for good measure. I know I should not be angry at Carlisle but why can't he just take my side. He wasn't at the dinner; he doesn't know what I saw. I have seen those kinds of men enough times to know exactly what is going on in their heads. Just because I am human now and can't really read minds well, doesn't mean I can see with my own two eyes. I kick a dirty old coffee cup lying on the sidewalk. I walk around for a little while, and then finally head home.

I hit the couch with a groaning thud. I lay there with one hand behind my head and the other hand pinching the bride of my nose in frustration. I look up at the ceiling as if the answer to all my problems will appear in the paint of the walls. I feel my phone vibrate, I decide to let it go straight to voice mail, and I don't feel like socializing today. The phone vibrates again and again, on the fifth time I finally decide to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, dear; why are you not answering my calls? It is Esme, crap I am in so much shit for that fight I got into with Carlisle this morning.

"Sorry, mom I just have been pre-occupied with work stuff." I say this before thinking; this is the dumbest thing I have ever said. No one would believe that, I don't even believe that.

"Mhmm, I am sure you have been pre-occupied with stuff or maybe with someone, this person in particular has brown hair and brown eyes, am I right? That is not why I called you though; I just wanted you to come over for dinner tonight. The whole family is going to be here and it would be nice if the whole family included you tonight." She says this in the sweetest most understanding voice ever. She is still so nice to me even after all the mopping and moods I have exhibited in her presence. They all are trying to be understanding of my problems and I keep ignoring them.

"I'll be there for supper mom."

"That is great Edward; six o'clock sharp. Bye Edward, love you."

"Love you too." I hang up the phone and get ready for dinner. Get up off the couch take a shower and pretend to have a life, that is what my mind chants over and over, it is no use though; her face is much too powerful. It reminds me of all that I want and all that I cannot have because I made one stupid mistake. Is this my punishment for killing all those men back when I was just a foolish child, I'd take it all back and find a different way if it was at all possible. I would tell my younger-self to wait it out, happiness will soon come and then not to let it go, no matter the hardships faced. I get out of the shower and drive my Volvo over to the house. I sit in the car mentally preparing myself for Alice's badgering and everyone's sympathy and encouraging words. I love Alice but sometimes I wish she would just not threaten to meddle or force me to do things I don't want to. My cell-phone goes off loudly, interrupting my brooding. I pick it up quickly and answer it.

"Hello?"

"Are you coming inside Eddie, your car has been sitting out there for about half an hour now? Esme is beginning to worry about you, I would come in soon." Emmett says.

"I'll be right in, jeez." I toss my phone on the passenger's seat and head inside the house. I walk directly to the kitchen, not paying much attention to whatever Emmett is jumping up and down about in the living room. "Do you need any help mom?" She turns around from the stove, where she has five burners going.

"Could you set the table for me Edward?"

"Yeah sure," I look over to the cookie jar sitting on the on the counter by the china cabinet, I contemplate grabbing one; I haven't had much to eat today.

"Don't even think about it Edward." I take the china out of the cabinet to begin setting the table. I hear her hollow footsteps before I see her. Even with this new life nothing is ever good enough for her.

"So you finally decided to stop sulking in your car and come in the house." Rose says in a huff.

"What does it matter to you Rose?"

"You are tearing this family apart." She says as she grabs the silverware and begins to place it on the table. I stop putting plates on the table and stare at her dumbfounded. Rosalie isn't one to hold back. She will always push to try my patience to the point where I have contemplated ripping her head right off but this time it takes the cake. I am obliviously not going to kill her that is cruel but I will not let what she said sit in the air. My mouth forms a sinister scowl. She looks at me with a blank expression. I guess she has no clue of what I am about to say.

"How have my personal life and my personal problems that I keep to myself affect your shopping habits Rose because that is all you do." Low blow, I know but she started it.

"Carlisle and Esme are unhappy because you are acting unhappy and that is ruining the family. Why don't you just settle for second best like most people do, she did in fact I think she ended up doing better than you anyway! You are both much better off without each other." She prattles off quickly.

"Why don't you shut up and keep your narcissistic thoughts to yourself. I will not settle for anything, I'd rather die alone than without her. There is simply nothing else out there for me. It doesn't concern you in anyway shape or form so would you just stop it." I reply.

"Why don't you stop entertaining that obnoxious notion of yours and come down to the real world where you learn that life isn't fair and deal with it in a mature manner, instead of how you are handling it in a childish manner." She says.

"Pot calling the kettle black, you are one who is acting childish, and sticking your nose in someone else's business." I almost shout. Esme walks in the dining room carrying some serving bowls and gives us both a tense look. Everyone else comes into the room and sits down around the table. Even with the argument Rose and I just had being over for now, everyone can feel the tension in the room, while we eat. This supper is turning into something as awkward as last night's supper. Leave it to mom to create conversation.

"So Edward I would really like to hear how supper went last night." Esme asks in the kindest voice ever. I move my food around my plate suddenly not interested in eating it.

"She didn't try to murder me, so I think there is some leg room." I say to lighten Esme's worry.

"The world owns you some kindness Edward, there has to be some way for things to work out without causing a world of pain. My sweet..sweet son, I just know that all of these hardships faced will have many rewards." I eat the food on my plate to keep up appearances, because in reality my stomach is in knots and I have not been able to sleep or eat properly. We all sit there eating and act if nothing is wrong. Esme and Alice clear the plates and bring out chocolate cake for desert, Alice's favorite of course. I think she has developed an addiction to chocolate.

"Edward may I apologise for my behaviour earlier?" Rosalie says in earnest. Before I can say anything she goes on to talk again. "It is really not my place anymore, nor was it ever my place to direct your life and for that I am truly sorry. I was just trying to protect you. There is something going on with Bella, I am not sure if you had heard about it yet and I was just trying to help you find a comfortable place to be in life, by moving on." What on Earth is Rosalie talking about? I am so confused. The confusing must read on my face because when I look at Rosalie she is wearing the same expression. "You don't know, do you?" Oh god what has happened to Bella.

"Rosalie, what has something happened to Bella?" she turns her head to Alice, I do the same. Rosalie sighs.

"I should not have opened my mouth; I thought you knew already Edward. It is not my place to tell you."

"Tell me what Rosalie, just spit it out I have as much a right to know what is going on as you do. Why can't someone just tell me what is going on instead of doing all of this fucking tip-toeing around me like I am made of delicate glass," I am standing up and pounding my fist onto the table, everything shakes, babies start crying and I can see Rosalie about to burst into more rage.

"You know what she has moved on, she is having a baby and she has moved on Edward. You need to, too!" I sit back in my chair stoically. I can feel all the eyes in the room on me, even with all the chaos. I sit my head in my hands, which are held up by the table. If the table wasn't here right now, the floor would be my favourite place.

"Edward, honey, please look at me!" Esme grabs my arm to get me to look at her.

"Son," something in me snaps. I bolt out of my chair and head out the door and into my car. I floor the gas and take-off into a random direction, any direction that gets me away from here.


	4. Chapter 4

Bella's POV (28)

When you love someone, you don't want to hurt them,  
even if they deserve to be hurt.  
When you love someone, you want to hurt them,  
even when they don't deserve to be hurt."  
**-"Glass" by Ellen Hopkins**

The car eases up our drive way, my heart races; I am scared out of my mind. Fuck Edward he just had to provoke me and now I have to pay the price. How on earth did I let myself end up this way? I have asked myself this question way to many times but I have never answered it. The answer is him, it is always him. I should not blame him though I chose this life but only after there was no other option. I fell in love with the idea that Nick was similar to Edward, similar enough that I could be ok with him, if Edward didn't want me anymore. I open the car door quickly to escape to the house.

"Close the door, I need to have a word with you." Nick sneers. I close the car door and sit there without a word, waiting for the blow. I see out of the corner of my eye that he is looking at me with hostile eyes. "You know what you could have cost me tonight Isabella! He shouts. I remain quiet, it is better that way. "I could have lost millions of dollars in investments, but do you care, no little miss I am going to get angry for some ridiculous reason and throw a fucking wine glass at investor." I jump a little as he bangs his fists on the steering wheel. "You need to learn to behave yourself. I am done teaching you, next time you will be sorry you made a mistake." Nick hops out of the car slamming the door and heads through the garage and into the house. I go inside the house twenty minutes later. Nick is in the office, face slumped on the desk, asleep with a glass of whiskey beside him.

I walk to our bedroom, and head in the closet to change out of this dress and pass out in my bed. There is a moving lump in the bed when I throw the cover back. What the fuck, did we get a dog? I see the strings of curly dark brown hair peek beneath the covers. I immediately rip the covers of the bed and I see her fugly little mug. Fucking Jessica Stanley is sleeping in my god damn bed.

"Get up," I scream. She stirs a little bit but nothing happens. "I know you are up, now I will give you two minutes to get up, get out of my bed, and get the fuck out of my house before I strangle you with my bare hands." I storm out of the room towards the office to scream at my beloved husband, that fucking dirty bastard. "Nick, if you know what is good for you, you will get up right now."

"Why are you screaming at me, get the fuck out of here." He says groggily. He lays his head back down to ignore me.

"I found that slut in my bed; you better get your ass up Nick!" I say through clenched teeth. His head bops up from the desk quickly; he looks at me like I am the crazy one. "Don't look at me like that; you have crossed the line this time Nick, one of these days, I am going to just lose my sanity completely."

"Would you calm down, I told her she could stay here. Before you say a word, would you let me explain? I..."

"You should shut up. I do not want to hear a poor attempt at a justification of why that whore of yours, whom is pregnant, might I add is sleeping my bed or is even in my god damn house." I turn around and begin to walk down the stairs. Nick grabs my arm forcefully and pulls me, and then slams me back first against the wall. He hands reach to my throat to hold me against the wall; any sudden movements to fight the hold will completely cut off my air supply.

"You are an infertile bitch and I go out of my way to solve that problem and this is the thanks I get, you screaming at me. I am paying Jessica off for us; we will pass her kid off as ours and everything can go back to normal. Until the child is born though I need to keep a close eye on her so she will be living with us. You can sleep in the guest room; your services are not need for the time being." I choke back sobs, look at him and all the rage burning in his eyes. I must not exhibit an emotion he can use to prey upon me. I let myself compose into an impassive mask. "I won't allow her to touch your things if that is what you're worried about. I think you could just move them to your new room; yes you could do that tomorrow. " He releases the choke hold and heads to our...his and Jessica's bedroom. He reaches the door and turns towards me, I am standing in exactly the same place frozen. "I love you Isabella, you will always be my number one, and I am just trying to make sure our lives are perfect. In about six months you will find that everything I have done, I have done for us and the reward we have reaped is worth any cost." He walks in the room and shuts the door behind him. I stare at the hardwood floor.

"I just don't think I can handle the cost anymore," I whisper to myself. I could A. Go out somewhere and never come back, or B. Go to bed and stop all this nonsense, I can't keep pissing him off he may just lose it completely and I won't live to see another day. Another thing I know for sure is that Edward better stay away or I will surely die. I choose B; I am exhausted both mentally and physically. I can't fight anymore; I can't even do my job properly.

I awaken feeling absolutely hung over. I look over to the clock, it is half past noon. I have over slept, great! I take a quick shower, do my hair and makeup, and get dressed. I quickly glance at the mirror; my neck has red hand marks on it. He has never left marks before, oh god. I quickly find my foundation and apply it. I rush downstairs and into the kitchen for some coffee and some Advil. Jessica walks into the kitchen and heads straight for the fridge, not noticing my presence. I sip my coffee and ignore her. She finishes poking around in the fridge and looks at me with a frigid stare. I could corner her right here and now if I felt like it, I won't but I will show her, her place here.

"Good afternoon Jessica!" I stand up with my coffee mug in my hands and walk towards her. "You know I never thought I would believe what people said about you in high-school but I am really beginning to see what they were talking about. You really are an awful inconsiderate person." She continues to look at me with a smile plastered on her face.

"For what it is worth Bella, you are no better than I. You are just as much of a two faced bitch as I am." I take a sip of my coffee and ponder her words. I walk closer to her, she backs off a little. I guess on some level she is actually afraid of me.

"Personally I think you are wrong, I am not in any way like you but as people say, every slut is entitled to their opinion. I take another sip and think about the reasons why she would put herself in the position she is in. She'll get money out of him but the trade off for that is her own flesh and blood, what kind of person does that. It kind of reminds me of prostitution. "You do realize that I am the winner in the end, that baby will be taken from you for money, unless of course you think he will leave me for a rejected social plague like you."

"That is for me to know and you to find out Frosty bitch. He tells me all about you." She really is delusional. She thinks that he will leave me for a dumb girl like her. She has nothing to bring to the table except sex. Nick cares more about money then sex.

"If you truly believe a man who is only interested in his status, money, and how other people envy him would choose you over me then I guess that would make you a cake eater. I do applaud your wiliness of the pursuit. You will have to get through me first and you are in no position to do that, you have to keep the baby to retain your lap-dog status." I walk out of the kitchen and in to the office and lock the door behind me.

I turn my laptop on; it makes the familiar humming noise. I drum my fingers on the desk until the log in screen pops up. I open the internet tab and my document containing the second book in my novel series. I am about six chapters away from summiting it to my publisher. I am glad I was able to put my English degree to good use. I underline the document and pull up the internet page, to check my emails. There is an email from Nick, is he not even going to speak to me in person now. Well I guess I better read what it is he wants from me.

_Isabella, I have an important dinner meeting at the house tomorrow night, Kate will cook supper and I expect you to be presentable for the meeting. A nice simple dress will do. I also need to talk to you tonight about Jessica and how we will portray you during her pregnancy; you know fake bump, back story, various shopping trips, etc... We will talk about a schedule for this tonight. Also for our seventh Anniversary I was thinking about dragging you to some beach, I know it is not your favourite place but we need to go somewhere where the public will see us. I was thinking the Bahamas or Hawaii. Anyway I'll talk with you tonight.-Nick_

Wow, some email. I can't do this, I can't do this. I would love to scream right now and say no to all of the above but instead I reply with some generic sounding response, agreeing with him. I sit back in my chair rubbing my temples. I don't know how he could expect me to fake a pregnancy, my acting sucks. People will know, the difference, Edward will know the difference if I ever saw him again. He will know everything with Nick was a lie and he will be right and I will be wrong again. I remove my hands from my head and hold them in the air in frustration. I need to calm done, everything will work out for the best, or so I keep telling myself. I close the internet browser and move on back to my novel.

I feel an immediate calm pervading throughout my mind as I write. Each paragraph takes me to that world and into my own paradise. Here everything is everything I want it to be. I am in control and can change at a whim. But nothing last forever and I hear the front door downstairs slam closed. I come crashing down to my reality. I close my laptop and head down the stairs for dinner. I almost bump into Jessica on the way into the dining room.

"I didn't think you were allowed to eat with me and Nick, it is not like he wants to sleep with you anymore."

"Whatever you say, I am no longer paying attention to it. But just this once I would like you to understand, I do have business to take care of with my Husband, and that is why I am down here."

"Frosty stuck up whore!" Jessica sneers at me. I shrug it off; I take pride in being an ice queen, for it is the only way to survive in this world. I take my usual place across from Nick. Jessica sits to his left. Nick looks at her confused though. She looks at him back pleading. He gives her another look, this look I know very well. She has done something to piss him off and now she is going to get it. I'll sit back and maybe I'll just enjoy myself this time.

"Jessica could you go eat in kitchen, I have important business to conduct with Isabella."

"No, I sleep with you, and I will be eating with you too. Anything you say to her can be said to me as well."

"Nothing I say to her concerns you, now when I said "could you go in to the kitchen" there was no other option other than to go in the kitchen. Now I want you to get your whore ass in the kitchen and eat your supper there, or you know what you can just leave the house entirely." She doesn't move an inch from her chair. "If you can't follow simple orders or do as I tell you, I will walk you right to the abortion clinic and make a beggars life seem much nicer than yours would be. When I am through with you, life will be a burden, you must follow orders." Jessica scraps her chair across the floor in an effort to piss Nick off even more. I sit in my spot, suppressing a grin. Once she is completely out of the room Nick looks at me pensively. "Did you find that amusing or something?"

"Not particularly."

"You are grinning."

"I am just excited for our discussion."

"...Sure you are. You like seeing me pissed off at her; it appears to get you off or something. If I was attracted to you right now I would so fuck you on this table, my little bondage minx."

"You are disgusting. Just get on with it; I do not have all night."

"Alright then, you are three months pregnant, due in March. Congrats it is a girl. I have someone getting the prosthetic bump, I gave them your measurements, and it should be here in two weeks time. I am free three weeks from now for us to do the shopping. We will be going to Hawaii for our anniversary. How is next week for you? You can get me some sort of art, you know what I like and I'll get you some kind of babble, I'll email you some choices. I think that is all, you may leave now." I get up out of my chair and head to my room to watch something. "Hey wait, that supper tomorrow. I expect you to not to repeat your little tantrum at tomorrow's meeting. This is the last straw to get an investment from Edward Cullen, you screw this up for me you are dead simple as that."

"It won't happen again." I continue my trek up the stairs.

"One more thing, tomorrow, wear that nice blue dress I bought you." I roll my eyes at him. He walks up to me.

"Whatever you say asshole."

"You know you love me. The whore will be gone soon, and we will be able to move on from that." He grabs my chin lightly, pecks my lips and leaves.

"Yeah, about as much as a trip to hell." I mumble to myself. I stand there shocked for a moment and head to my room. I turn on the TV louder than necessary to drowned out my voice in my head, I pace around my room looking for something to throw somewhere. Why do I have to be near that ass again? He just won't give up. I can be stubborn too; Edward will not win me back, even if I could be happier with him. Why deny myself? Deep down, I never stopped loving him... but why let him win, he could have had me along if he hadn't been such a fucking moron, too little to late is my final sentiment on that subject. I plop down on my bed and roll over to find a book to read in my nightstand. Hard Times by Dickens, I am about half way through. Sometimes I feel there could be a couple of comparisons of this book and my life, except that I could change my life completely and Louisa couldn't. I eventually give up on the book turn off the TV and go to bed.

"_Darling, are you going to follow me or continue staring at the meadow. Don't you remember this place, our place, where we first kissed. Come on follow me."I look over to the direction the voice is coming from._

"_Edward, what are you doing here?" He grabs my hand and leads me to the middle of the meadow._

"_There, now everything will be safe, love."_

"_Safe from what Edward?" I look around for him and he is gone. "Edward, Edward" I run around the meadow and into the thick forest to search for him. I can't find him anywhere. I call out his name again as I head back to the middle of the meadow, nothing except my voice echoing off the trees. I feel my heart shatter as I lay down in the grass, He has left me again. Giving up hope, I lay here frozen, until there is some rustling of bushes in the distance. I immediately bolt up in a sitting position, hoping Edward will come out of the bushes. _

"_Did you really think you would get away with this?"Nick says as he approaches me. He looks absolutely livid. I can't move or make a sound, I am trying to run and scream but nothing happens, Nick just keeps getting closer and closer. I can feel my heart racing so fast, I am scared it may just explode. He reaches where I am sitting and walks around me like predator circling its prey."You are supposed to be mine. I own you, there are no refunds. But that wasn't enough for you, I find you running to another man's arms. That is unacceptable." I feel him behind me. Getting closer, so close I can feel his shoe touching my back. I close my eyes. My head is throbbing and the pain is getting worse. When I open my eyes I am being dragged by my hair, through the forest and into a rocky terrain. I am still paralysed to only my thoughts. "You drove me to do this Isabella." He picks me up in an impossible way. It appears that he has somehow grown several feet. He is holding me up to his height by my hair. What is going on here? "You are going to hell, whore." He swings me back and tosses me over the cliff. I fall through the air and hit the sea water with a thud. I immediately notice that I can't swimming I can feel myself losing oxygen and getting weaker. I try to flail my arms to rise to the surface but everything goes black. My last thought is of how much I love Edward and how I am sorry I couldn't find a way to be with him. A final gasp and I bolt out of the water and find myself on the floor._

I gasp again and again clutching my throat. I stare at my hand shocked. It was only a dream. I look over to the clock on the nightstand; it reads 5:00 AM, I then debate on going back to sleep, not with those dreams pervading my mind. I pick myself off of the ground and change into some running clothes. I need to clear my head. I jog around in Madison Park. I jog and jog and jog, until I see someone familiar in the distance. I stop jogging and walk closer, oh crap it's him. It is like that fucking asshole is stalking me. I turn around and keep walking, I am try to dodge the pinecones but one causes my ankle to buckle and I come crashing down to the pavement. I make a high pitched squeal as I go down. I don't dare look up, I know he heard me.

** Au Note: I hope everyone is enjoying the story and I can't thank you guys enough for the reviews. If anyone is interested I have pictures of the dresses Bella wears below, just replace the dot and brackets with a period. http:/photobucket(Dot)com/lunarain18 They are not exact but close to what I had in mind. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4 **

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight**_

Edward POV (age 25)

_**So, my dear sir, you steal my roses. You steal my roses, the things I love most in all the world. Your luck has gone from bad to worse. You could have taken anything except my roses. The punishment for this simple theft is death! - **__**Belle et la Bête**_

I drive and drive for hours; I see the sign before I am consciously aware that I wanted to go to this place. Forks, where it all began and ended. I drive up to a bar, get out of the car and decide to get a drink.

"What will it be tonight?" I recognize this guy from somewhere.

"Um... Whatever is the hardest, you've got." Did I go to school with him? No he looks like he is from this town, or from this area.

" Sure, one Brandy coming up. Did you live here before, I feel like I recognize you."

"I was just about to ask you the same thing. I went to high-school here awhile ago."

"Oh, well, I don't think that is it. I didn't go to Forks High. Wait... you are one of the Cullen's." He says with sudden distaste. How on earth does this mongrel know me and know my name?

"Uh, yeah, where do I know you from?"

"Is your family back in town?"

"I don't know why you want to know but in any case, that is none of your business." This boy is so familiar, oh wait... I remember him now. Jacob Black. He turns away from me. "You and Bella were or are friends or something." He turns in my direction very quickly.

"How the fuck do you know Bella?" He seethes.

"I went to school with her, what the hell is your problem."

"Meet me outside and I'll tell you what my problem is." Even after quite a few drinks. I could take him, I may not be a vampire anymore but I know how to fight. If he wants to pick a fight with me, I'll take him on.

"You better not have touched her."

"Who, what are you talking about?" I am beginning to really miss reading minds all the time.

"You know who and what I mean leach."

"I am not a leach."

"Try and lie to me, I know the difference. If I find out you so as touched Bella, the love of my life, I will kill you."

"Clearly you don't know the difference, and you just exposed vampires, to me a human and about Bella, she loves me, what you may think you have doesn't begin to compare. It is not like she chose you she is married to someone else" His nostrils flare outward, his fists ball up.

"You're that asshole Cullen that left her aren't you? Reason enough to kill you." His breathing becomes so erratic I actually think he may pass out but he lets out a growl and morphs into a werewolf. How is that possible they are extinct, the line ended years ago. I take a step back to analyze the situation. I cannot win against him now, shit I better just run. I cannot out run a werewolf. I stop mid stride and turn around. I feel his panting in front of me so I turn back around to face him. I have no options left; I'll just have to reason with him.

"If you have noticed, I can't out run you, so clearly I am not a vampire. If I was I would have killed you by now, even so you are on my territory you break the treaty and I will find another way to break all of you bones." Jacob turns around and heads to the forest. That was easier than I thought. I should get out of here in case he went in to La Push for backup. I head to my car and unwillingly decide to go back home, in Seattle. The drive is long and cumbersome, but I come up with an idea to convince Bella to give me a second chance.

It is about three in the morning when I reach my house. I walk in and head straight for my bed. The after effects of the alcohol are starting to affect me. I toss and turn some more before giving up on sleeping. I decide to begin composing my note to Bella. My hands clam up with every letter I make but about one hour later; I believe I have gotten down what I want to say. I read it to make sure it is good enough.

_Dear Bella,_

_There are not enough words in the world to describe the deplorable words I let leave my lips and shatter your heart. It was cruel and I thought I was protecting you from the life I couldn't bring myself to make you a part of because I didn't want you to sacrifice where one was unnecessary. You are my first and only love, there isn't and there never can be another you. I know this is hard to believe but I was stupid love isn't something I am very familiar with and you were the first person I ever saw in that way, I didn't know how to do things properly. I can promise you that I will never make a mistake twice, things have changed now. I will do everything and anything to earn your trust again, even if it means just being friends._

_I know I have said in the past how I wanted you to get married and have children, one of which would not have been possible with me. I couldn't give you anything and I wanted you to have everything. Indeed you have done as I wanted you to but Nick is not a person I would expect you to keep company. To put it bluntly, he exactly is like the men I have hunted down in my past. I could care less if you deny it, I am not stupid. You and I both know what kind of person he is. I have reasons to fear for you safety around him. I gave up everything. He was supposed to be a safe choice. His thoughts prove otherwise._

_There are a lot of things you don't know and we need to talk, sometime, anytime you have a spare moment. My phone number is the same as it was before, if you don't remember I'll write it at the bottom, even an email will suffice, I'll also write that at the bottom. I am sure you do not want to talk to me, though. I love you and always will. I will wait forever; I can be just as obstinate as you. _

_Lastly, please for the love of god, if you're not willing to give me a second chance, at least leave him for someone worthy.- Love Edward _

I finish reading the letter, it sucks, I can't even think straight anymore. I cross my hands behind my head and sit back into my office chair. Nothing better comes to mind so I fold the paper neatly and tuck it in an envelope. I head to my bedroom and grab my watch 4:45 AM; I am too wired to head back to sleep. I think back to what I did in forks to clear my head, I went for runs. I change my clothes and head out the door to the nearby park. The cold numbs me and I couldn't ask for a nicer feeling right now. I run as hard as I can, pushing my human body to its limits. I eventually stop to a quick walk to give my body some time to recover. I look down and notice my shoe is untied. I go to a bench and lean over to tie it up. I hear a high pitched scream. I stand back up and look over to the direction of the noise. I see Bella sitting on the ground. I run over to her and crouch down to assess her injuries.

"Are you alright?" I grab the ankle she was clutching to a moment ago; she immediately pulls away from my touch.

"I am fine leave me alone Edward." She says through clenched teeth.

"You are clearly injured. I will not leave you alone." She looks up to me and stares at my face for a moment, I do the same and get lost in her eyes. Bella clears her throat. "Oh, um... Here I will carry you over to that bench and examine your ankle." I point to the bench about two yards away. Bella makes a grunting sound.

"I can walk just fine, get off of me." She goes to stand up; I get up off the path as well. She stands for a few seconds and falls over again; I swoop in to catch her. I stand her upright and lean her against my shoulder to take the weight off of her leg. "That was just a test, I can walk fine now."

"You could not lie to save your own life, unfortunately. Are you going to let me carry you to the bench or am I going to have to just do it anyway without your permission?"

"Can't we just limp over there how we are now?" She hasn't changed a bit, still stubborn and still won't let anyone take care of her.

"Whichever would make you the happiest, Bella."

"What would make me the happiest... is you not helping me and leaving me the hell alone."

"Too bad I am not going anywhere." I walk her to the bench and help her sit down. I grab her foot again and elevate it on my thigh.

"How bad is the pain, don't lie about it." She rolls her eyes at me.

"It is not that bad really Edward, can I just go now. I have stuff I have to do today."

"You are laying again Bella. You need a whole check up. You are pregnant, are you not? You should really go to the hospital and get a full clear, a couple of scans, an ultrasound, blood level check..."

"For, fuck sakes Edward." She begins to chew on her lip, something is up but if is pester her she will shut me out completely. I'll ask when she is in a better mood. "I am not going to the stinking hospital and you can't make me." She tries to squirm out of my grasp and fails. "Let me go Edward or so god, help you."

"Either we go to the hospital or I take you to my house and examine you."

"Edward... fine let us limp to your house. How far is it?"

"It is quite close from here." We walk slowly to my house. I take the opportunity of her leaning into me to inhale her smell. Same as always, it will keep me sane for now. We reach the house and carry her up the cement stairs, to the front door.

"You have a very beautiful house." I lead her to the couch in the sitting room and I head to the bathroom to grab my medical bag.

"Thank you very much, Esme picked and designed the house." I take the seat next to her on the couch and grab her ankle again.

"May I take off your shoe?" She pouts in distaste. "I will be as quick as possible."

"Just do it then." I unlace, and loosen the shoe as much as possible. I yank the show off in a quick motion and I feel her twitch back.

"Sorry, why don't you look away while I take the sock off?"

"Ugh, why can't you just leave the sock on?"

"I can't see through socks Bella." She tilts her head backwards and grips the couch as I peel the sock off. I hit an icepack against my thigh and put it on her foot. I look at her neck longing to nuzzle my head into it, kissing everywhere. The longing dissipates when I notice purple blotches on it, in the shape of fingers. I lean in closer and there is nothing else they could be except bruises from HIM.

"Edward, are you all right?" My jaw wires itself shut and I can't answer her. I feel the vomit lurching in my mouth. I half crawl half run to the nearest bathroom. I pick myself up, off of the floor, flush the toilet, and wash my mouth out. I begin having trouble controlling my breathing, I look into the mirror. I look haggard, my eyes look dreary. "Edward?" I wipe my mouth and head back to the living room before she decides to get up and find me.

"Bella, I am right here, sorry. I think the alcohol I had last night is disagreeing with me." Bella opens her mouth to say something but closes it again. I sit back down on the couch opposite her. I look at her neck again, her hair shields most of the bruises but I can still see a couple. "Your ankle should be fine, it doesn't look broken."

"That is good, I guess." She looks around the room and back to me. I look away and stare at the entry to the dining room. "I see you have stitches on you cheek. I am truly sorry about that. I didn't think that would happen, in fact how on earth did that happen?"

"Don't worry about the stitches, I'll be fine. Carlisle is very good at make sure scares are tidy and as unnoticeable as possible. It is a long story how it happened, I'd love to tell you sometime, just not today."

"Whatever." She sounds disappointed and looks away again.

"Believe me I want to tell you there is nothing more on this earth that would make me feel better than to tell you everything."

"It is fine Edward, I really don't care. You still did what you did and nothing you say can change that." I lower my head down in shame. She is right, I am a sorry excuse for a man and I don't deserve her but god forbid me, Nick doesn't either. He hurt her and he will pay, my life depends on it. Bella gets up to leave.

"Bella you can't even walk; what are you doing. I need to wrap your foot up and then if you must leave, I'll drive you home." I grab the tension bandage out of my bag and begin to wrap her foot. We head out the door into my car, I start the car and we head to her house in silence. "Bella, may I ask you a question?"

"I don't believe I owe you any questions seeing how you don't answer mine."

"Look, I will give you all the answers you need just not now, I have that supper tonight with Nick.." Just saying his name disgusts me. "We can talk anytime just not today. Will you answer my question?"

"Fine!" She is beginning to get angry at me, I better make this quick. No time to word it properly anymore.

"Bella, I am being very serious when I ask you that if you weren't ok, you would tell me right?"

"What are you talking about Edward; you really need a lesson in not being so god damn cryptic. Just come out and say it, I am so sick of your bullshit."

"Just be careful, is what I am saying and if anything thing happens tell me, I will take care of it."

"Ok... Edward." I can tell she is rolling her eyes at me right now.

"Please try to take this seriously."

"I will, all right."

"That works for me." I get out of the car and help her to her house. We hobble over to her couch.

"Will you be fine on the couch?"

"Yes I will be fine."

"You know you really should go to the hospital and have a work up."

"Edward, just go home, Jesus." I take one last look at her and walk towards the door.

"Stay safe Bella; see you tonight at the dinner." I close the door and walk to my car. On the drive home I think freely about how I will destroy Nick, he will pay the ultimate price for those bruises. He is going to die one way or the other. I know I promised Carlisle I would not harm humans but the way I see it Nick is so far from human, it makes room for a loop hole. Bella is pregnant with his child though, god why do you hate me so. There always has to be an obstacle. I can't sit on the sidelines while he has free access to hurt her. I could threaten him. That may do more harm than good. If I was still a vampire there would be no question on what I would do. In fact I would have done it already. This is not that simple though, I should go talk to Carlisle about it. He will know what to do.

I drive past my house and head to my true home, to discuss what to do about Nick with Carlisle.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight**_

Edwards POV

_I will write in words of fire. I will write them on your skin. I will write about desire. Write beginnings, write of sin. You're the book I love the best, your skin only holds my truth, you will be a palimpsest lines of age rewriting youth. You will not burn upon the pyre. Or be buried on the shelf. You're my letter to desire: And you'll never read yourself. I will trace each word and comma As the final dusk descends, You're my tale of dreams and drama, Let us find out how it ends. -__ Gaiman_

There isn't much Carlisle will tell me that I will want to hear but maybe there could be something he has to say that will make me consider a better option. I don't want Bella to think I am more of a monster than that bastard. I walk in to the house to chaos, children screaming, and water running. It is almost a like a beautiful symphony, all these sounds, everything being out of control and nothing going right. I enjoy all of these sounds because they have meaning. The only thing that would make it better would be if it were my house and my children running around like animals. I couldn't care if the house was knocked off of its foundation, these sounds would make me feel alive if they were my own. My wife and children would mean everything to me; I would not take such things for granted like some people. I would live and die for them. I will live and die for them. They may not exist yet but I am not giving up.

"Uncle Teddy," Lily screeches. She comes barreling into the room and straight for me. Her hands are covered in some gross sloppy looking food, oatmeal I think. The sticky remnants of hand prints covered in goo splotched all over my pants as she clings to my leg. I peel her off of me and hoist her in the air and on my hip.

"Why hello Lily, why are you running around like a little monkey." Her laughing which sounds of a trill fills the room at the mention of monkeys. I giggle along with her because it is just so infectious. "You are just a little monkey aren't you?" tickling her side, where she is most ticklish, she gets louder and louder.

"That is enough Lily; I need to wash all that filth off of you. We need to clean the kitchen too there is oatmeal everywhere. I will meet you in the bathroom." Lily stops laughing immediately and squirms out of my arms. Pouting her lips out knowing she is in trouble.

"See you Later Uncle Teddy."

"Bye Lily." Rose crosses her arms, looking at me like I don't belong.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in. Esme and the rest of them have been worried sick about you and the mental state you were in when you left dinner last night. You didn't have your cell phone on. Edward seriously, what the hell is your problem? You are so stupid sometimes. Can you not just act normal for once so we can enjoy our lives instead of worrying about the state of sanity you exhibit in your own."

"Look Rose I am not going to be getting into it again with you. I am sure you know exactly what my problems are. I would however like to apologise for my behaviour, it was disgusting and deplorable to talk to you in such a manner, especially in front of your children. Do you know where Carlisle and Esme are? I should apologise to them as well." She doesn't change her stance or seem to give a crap about my apology

"As far as I know everyone is in the kitchen." She says this with her regular attitude and leaves the room. As I head into the kitchen nervousness takes over me and I feel ashamed for my behaviour last night. I am aware of the fact that my family will forgive me even though I do not deserve it and it makes me want to run out the door again. The kitchen is bustling with chaos. Esme is cleaning the oatmeal off Aden while Emmett is cleaning off the counters and the table.

"Nice to see you back home after the fiasco last night, I thought Rose was actually going to punch you. Her heart is in the right place but her brain, well that is another story." Alice says as she walks to my side from the stairs.

"It is great to be back, Alice and What I said was out of line regardless. I would like to apologize to you for my behaviour."

"Don't, worry about it; we all know how Rose gets sometimes."

"Are you guys going to stand there or help us out?" Emmett says. Alice and I smile and roll our eyes at Emmett and grab a dish cloth.

"Edward, I am so glad to see you here," Esme beams at me, while taking Aden out of his high-chair. "I'll be right back; I am just going to put Aden in his playpen. We begin scrubbing the kitchen clean. Alice is clearly grossed out by the oatmeal. She sort of half cleans, leaving anything really messy to either me or Emmett. She looks like she may vomit by just the site.

"Yuck, this oatmeal is really disgusting." Alice holds the rag outward, repulsed by the grey sludge covering it. She flings it in the sink and sits down in a chair while Emmett and I finish the rest of the cleaning. After we are finished we sit at the table, Esme grabs a glass of orange juice and joins us.

"How did the oatmeal get everywhere?" I ask suddenly interested such a random mess.

"Liam and Lily were fighting again, flinging oatmeal around and then Aden started spitting and grabbing oatmeal and the next thing you know it is everywhere." Emmett says exhaustedly.

"You forgot to mention the part where you joined in Emmett." Alice chides, sticking her small tongue out at him.

"I did not join in I was trying to stop it by hitting them both."

"I'll bet you were trying to punish them." I chuckle. I get up and get a glass of orange juice out of the fridge and make some cereal after realizing how hungry I am."

"When is the last time you ate Edward you're looking sick." Esme says with concern.

"I ate some food last night, I am just hung-over mom."

"You barely ate supper last night and why on earth are you drinking so heavily, in fact why are you drinking period. All it does to people is make them hurt even more."

"I was a onetime thing it will not happen again." The concerned look on her face calms a little. "Also I just wanted to apologise for last night. I was out of line and I should have just ignored it instead of leaving causing you to worry so much. "

"Of course sweet-heart, it is a tough hand you've been given. You are completely forgiven. Just try not to do anything stupid again, please."

"I promise mom, by the way where is Carlisle?"

"I am afraid he had to rush to the hospital today. One of his patients ended up getting sicker and the other doctor was not specialized to deal with it." Esme plays with the corner of a paper napkin, looking down at the table in sorrow. The Patient must be a child. Children getting sick frightens her so much, she always sees Aden in them, when she goes to read to all the patients.

"Oh, do you think he would be back before I need to leave for a business supper?"

"I am not sure; do you need to talk to him?"

"Yeah, kind of but I guess it could wait."

"Why don't we go into the living room and talk? Motherly advice can be very valuable." I smile at Esme; she gives me a tender smile back. I put my dishes into the dishwasher and walk silently into the living room. She follows behind me, we each take a seat across from one another and silence consumes the room with the odd babble from Aden. "It is about Bella isn't it? Carlisle told me about what you said to him about her husband possibly abusing her. He said you had no proof and he said you were acting erratic about it as if you had seen him hurt her yourself."

"It is about Bella and I do have proof this time." Esme gasps and holds her hands over her mouth shocked. Her eyes dart around and find mine again.

"Oh, my, god. What kind of proof? Don't tell me she has actually been hurt by him. We have to do something." Esme's eyes widen. I debate on telling her, it isn't something she should have to hear but I have to tell her what I know though, so I can get some help dealing with this. I take a deep breath and go on.

"I ran into this her morning when I went out for a jog and naturally she tripped while she was jogging. I helped her, took her home, and bandaged her foot. I saw finger marks on her neck. That is enough proof for me."

"Such an unfortunate life. We have to get her out of there before something worse can happen." Esme looks to be on the verge of tears and I know if she starts I will begin to weep as well. I avoid her gaze to keep myself in check. I find myself running my hands through my hair and grinding my teeth to keep in control. I compose myself and begin again.

"I know, that is what I wanted to talk to Carlisle for. I don't know what to do or how to go about it. I just want to kill him but that isn't exactly easy anymore."

"Did you talk to her, does she know you know?"

"No, she isn't really talking to me, I sort of hinted it to her but she didn't seem to bite."

"You need to talk to her and then I don't know, go to the police. Maybe Carlisle will have a better suggestion." Esme crosses the room and hugs me tightly, I lean my head on her shoulder like my life depends on it. As much as I try to help it this time the tears flow uncontrollably. "My poor, poor son," Esme says soothingly while stroking my hair. I eventually pull away from the hug. I need to go home and get a little sleep before I have to eat supper in the same room as that fucking bastard.

"For everything you have done thank you, mom."

"You're welcome, Edward. Promise to come back tomorrow."

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do."

"I'll tell Carlisle what you told me and tell him to call you. I better see you tomorrow."

"Bye mom."

I can still smell her on the couch cushions when I lay down to nap. My dreams consist of that day in the woods. The stupidest day of my life, how could she believe my lies after all the times I told her I love her? One word breaks it all. The look in her eyes is what scares me the most; it is so broken and dead. This dream keeps repeating, sometimes with Nick in it he drags her through the woods and I try and chase after her but I cannot move. I awaken catch my breath and fall back asleep on the uncomfortable couch. I am always aware that I am dreaming but I can't wake up, it is like it is always real. Instead of in the forest I am on the top of a building, I can't remember the place. My heart feels forgotten and for some reason I know I failed her. It would be the only reason for my heart to feel like so. I black out again. When I awake I begin to panic and it feels like I am falling down endlessly. I wake up for real this time and I am half on the floor. No matter how much sleep I get the feeling of exhaustion is still present. Something is different this time though, that dream isn't like the normal nightmares I have had; maybe I am going off the deep end. I need to get myself under control or I may just end up screwing everything up again.

I take a look at the clock across the living room, still some time before the meeting. My neck is so sore; I should have just gone to my bedroom. I try rubbing my neck to soothe out all the kinks but it really doesn't do much. Give up and take a shower I guess. I torture myself with cold water to feel alive. It wakes me up and lets me think normally. This is the first time tonight that it seems that I can handle this dinner. I dry off and get dressed. I walk past my bed and see the envelope sitting on the table, oh shit that letter. If it is given to her it could be consequential but I need to give it to her. If something happened to her because I gave her that letter, I would never forgive myself. She can do what she wants with it when she has the letter. She may not even open it. I stuff the letter in my dinner jacket pocket. This still gives me the option not to give it to her.

Sitting in my car same as before, a complete wreck but this time there is a twist. Anger surges through me like a vampire's venom in a human. This is what finally gets me to start the car and drive over to her house. Anger is a powerful thing it can set us over the edge. I stop along the way to grab some flowers to give to Bella. Flowers have always been a tough choice, so many kinds and each with a different message. Roses too formal, daisies are cheap, and any other flower just doesn't get the message I want to convey across. I decide on lilies, they seem friendly enough but not pushing it.

"The house looks cold and uninviting different from this morning. It is like the whole world has turned upside down. Nothing left but to go ring the doorbell and get this shit over with. A tall, lanky, blonde, women named Kate answers the door. I don't remember her from this morning. Perhaps she doesn't work here constantly.

"Welcome Mister Cullen, Mister Valyntin has been expecting you, right this way. I'll take those flowers and put them in the kitchen." This women chooses to walk extra slow to the dining room, making sure I can see every ounce of cleavage. If she honestly thinks all business men sleep with anything that moves she is wrong. I find her repulsing. We finally get to the room and Bella is all alone, again. She is wearing a dark blue dress, which hugs every one of her curves. I try not to stare but it is hard, I am only human after all. She is the love of my life; it is my right to think she looks amazing. Poor justification but like I said before, can't help it. I take the seat across from her. I notice that the bruise are no longer visible, she must have covered them up with make-up. She notices me staring; I immediately look down, unworthy. We can't just sit here silently though.

"You look lovely tonight Bella." I say to start any conversation with her. Just so I can feel human.

"Thanks Edward, you look much better now, than when I saw you this morning."

"Yeah I should not drink, it is absolutely awful. How is your ankle, did you do as I asked?"

"If you are talking about if I went to the hospital, then no I did not go."

"Bella."

"Edward."

"Be reasonable. If anything happens to you I won't forgive myself for not dragging you to the hospital myself."

"If I go tomorrow will you just drop it?"

"Yes, but I know you are lying." Her face turns crimson. I knew it. Why is she is adamant on not get checked up.

"Drop it alright."

"Of course," I take a sip of my water. I'll drop it for now. "Where is Nick, he is running awfully late."

"Who knows? Maybe you should just get out while you can. I hate to see you waste money on an idiot like him." She thinks he is an idiot, quite odd if you ask me. That means though, that she doesn't love him like she loves me. This is good even if she will not admit it out loud. I should take this opportunity to give her my letter, he is not here and god knows if he will show up.

" Bella..." I fish the note out of my pocket. "I was wondering if I could give you something. It didn't cost any money and it really is the least I could do after all of this time lost." She looks at me confused and then looks at the note. "It is just a letter to you, nothing in it, no money or anything else you hate, just words. You don't even have to read it. Burn it if you wish." She takes the letter from my hand; the tips of my fingers brush hers lightly. There still is a jolt of electricity between us. She examines the front and back of the letter. It looks like she is about to open it but instead she begins to rip it in half and in half again. My heart drops a little; I thought we were getting somewhere this morning. I honestly did not think she would rip it up like that. God, I don't know what else I can do. I look her straight in the eye for some sign that the longing to be with me is there and it is, as long as it is there I will fight. I will pen a thousand letters. She looks at me with fight evident in her eyes. Her good mood is clearly gone and I have over stepped my boundaries again. I need an answer from her like a fish needs water and I am not above begging her for one.

"Please tell me where we stand, things seemed better this morning and now they have gone back to frigid. I don't know what to do. I cannot bare the rest of my life without you. I'll take anything I can get with you even if we are just friends. Just look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me and I will go forever." Her eyes get watery, and she looks lost. There is no answer though. I hear the door creek open and Nick just has to choose this moment to show up. He looks flustered as he sits down.

"Sorry I am late. There was some business that just wasn't letting go. I see my wife has been on her best behaviour. No broken glasses this time." His jokes are not funny in the slightest. Pretend to laugh, pretend to care in the end the prize is tangible.

"Your wife has been quite entertaining." It would have been even better if you had not showed up. Kate places our dinner in front of us but not without brushing up against my shoulder. I ignore her, the best I can.

"That is good, not too entertaining I hope. I would not want to have to shoot you before we finish our business deal." Bella begins coughing and choking on her water. I immediately stiffen and consider jumping across the table and help her, but I must restrain myself because I am not aloud. "Bella are you alright?" I turn to look at him just aware that he has spoken.

"I am fine. Your joke just took me by surprise." He pats her on the back with soothing circles. One minute a calm collected person, the next a rabid animal. I am finally seeing why people like Nick. He can be very convincing but once the trap has been snapped. It is like he is a completely different person. Does he have some sort of mental disorder? If so, it may make it hard to get her away from him. It is like he has complete control over her. He uses it to control people.

"Let us eat this glorious meal and get our deal out of the way later. Bring the alcohol Kate." He sounds as if he is hammered already. Neither Bella nor I drink any alcohol. She must be pregnant if she is not drinking, just another check against me. Nick polishes down three quarters of a bottle of wine by the end of supper. Bella ignores it entirely. I stare at while making small talk with the drunk. "How about, we discuss that contract now." He slurs the speech.

"Are you sure, you are really drunk right now."

"Yes, yes the contract is all ready just needs some signing." He looks around for a bit and then looks at Bella. "Wife, come here. Go grab the contract off of my desk." Bella doesn't even fight him. She comes back quickly with the contract and then leaves to who knows where. Myself and Nick sign and then he drinks some more. "Edward, Business partner, come on have a drink, we need to toast but I will not tolerate any of that homo shit you do. I am strictly a pussy man." He forces a drink in my hand.

"What makes you think that I am gay Nick?"

"Because that is what everyone says."

"Ok, then...It is not true though. Who told you that I was anyway?" He looks at me in shock like I just told him that pigs really can fly. I don't know where he got the assumption.

"So you innocently look at my wife while being straight? This whole time I thought you were looking at my wife for beauty tips or some shit but now I find out that you are straight." He yells. "You better fuck off buddy or I really will shoot you. That Bitch is mine got it." My temper is boiling over.

"How dare you call her a bitch you are drunken mother fucker." He stands up from the table not listening to what I am saying.

"How dare you stare at my wife like you own, her." I need to calm him down before things get way more out of hand.

"I have not done anything; you are drunk and seeing things. You either stop accusing me of accosting your wife or I will liquidize you company as soon as I get home."

"You can't do that, you prick."

"Don't try me. You can't back out of the deal; it has been signed and noted I have a lot more money and I am sure you are as filthy as a rain gutter. It would not take long to find dirt on you." I get up from my seat and head towards the door. He stops me and points his finger at me.

"There isn't a single thread of dirt on me but you on the other hand. I am sure there is on you. This deal can go both ways. I'll liquidize you."

"You'll never get a deal like mine again, if you try. I am done reasoning with you. Have a lovely evening. I will see you in my office tomorrow morning, this time sober so we can actually have a normal business meeting." He seems shocked that I have not torn up the contract. In most cases I guess that would be normal but not when he has what I desperately want.

"I am surprised you still want to do business with me."

"You appear to have something I want."

"And what would that be Mr Cullen. Is it money? I am a brilliant man. I make money like grass."

"It is not money but that seems to be all you are consumed with."

"Than what is it?"

"It is not like you would care about it."

"Would you stop playing fucking mind games with me."

"It is not like you will remember our conversation in the morning." I slam the door and gasp for air. I run my hand through my hair nervously. What if he hurts her because I was looking at her? I'll have to come and see her tomorrow, while he is gone.

I head home to another sleepless night filled with nightmares and waking up in the middle of the night longing, wishing I had someone I could truly confide in to help me deal with these nightmares. One of the many things I do when I can't sleep is imaging her here with me. It seems to help. While she sleeps peacefully by my side I long to hear her mumbled words. After my brain finally registers that she is in fact not with me, I'll be surprised in the morning to be able to get up out of bed and move around without the rest of me. The image of her ripping up that letter may just make that impossible, tomorrow. I will never ever criticise Romeo again.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight**_

**A/N: I am really sorry for the delay. My mom has been nagging me about getting a job and well I got one and the training sucked and took up all my time and then the job got really bad. I sold knifes for about a week and then I just couldn't do it anymore. I felt cheap and dirty. I am sure you don't want to hear about my excuses but I will try to do better next time. Maybe bi-weekly is the way to go. I hope you enjoy this chapter it is a bit longer than my other ones. Feel free to review, I am wearing my big girl underwear so even if you think it is the most awful, atrocious butchering of SM's work, I'd still love to hear from you!**

_**Time is merely an evolution of fate, stalling the inevitable only causes the loss of time, something of which you cannot get back. **_

Bella POV

The world just has it out for me today. My ankle is throbbing, I can hear him running towards me, and I have to lie to him like there is no tomorrow. I might as well paint all the truth on my forehead, he'll never believe me.

"Are you alright?" It is not like I am made of glass but he continues to treat me like so. He tries to access my injury. His touch, it is not blindingly cold this causes me to pull away immediately. The temperature of his skin is shocking. It is not cold like it used to be, it feels natural, like he was the same as me... but that would mean he was human, it explains everything, but how? I thought that it was impossible. I tell this to myself and as I do so I also go over the fact that it should have been impossible for him to be a vampire in the first place so why argue about anything the has to do with him at all. It is not my place anything that concerns him should not concern me. What does it matter, I finally conclude I don't care about him anymore neither does he, he left me years ago and that is our destiny and destiny is unchangeable.

"I am fine leave me alone Edward." I say in pain.

"You are clearly injured. I will not leave you alone." I look up to him and he stares at my face for a long moment, I do the same. I break it off with a clearing of my throat. I should not have even looked at him first. Even as a human he still dazzles me so. "Oh, um... Here I will carry you over to that bench and examine your ankle." He points to the closest bench about two yards away. I grunt and howl a bit as he picks me up to carry me. Since when does he think he has the right to carry me whenever he pleases he did not even ask for permission.

"I can walk just fine, get off of me." I try and stand up and walk off of the path but my body falls me again and clumsy me, I fall over. Before I hit ground I feel he arms wrap around my lower back to catch me. He stands me upright and takes off some of the weight from me by leaning me against his shoulder. I fight him away from me; I am capable on my own. "That was just a test, I can walk fine now."

"You could not lie to save your own life, unfortunately. Are you going to let me carry you to the bench or am I going to have to just do it anyway without your permission?" He never even asked for it in the first place. I roll my eyes at him when he is not looking.

"Can't we just limp over there how we are now?" I plead with him. I just don't want to be saved anymore, can't he just see that already.

"Whichever would make you the happiest, Bella." Finally he lets me have it my way, well sort of. I feel like getting snarky with him. He deserves ever ounce of angry I throw at him.

"What would make me the happiest... is you not helping, me."

"Too bad I am not going anywhere." We walk to the bench and sit down, he grabs my ankle gentle but even that subtle touch sends thousands of daggers shooting up my whole leg. I mash my teeth together to keep the pain from showing.

"How bad is the pain, don't lie about it." I roll my eyes at him again. It hurts a lot but he does not need to know that.

"It is not that bad really Edward, can I just go now. I have stuff I have to do today." Why on earth did I just ask him for permission I am an adult, duh Bella.

"You are lying, again Bella. You need a whole check up. You are pregnant, are you not? You should really go to the hospital and get a full clear, a couple of scans, an ultrasound, blood level check..." Oh shit how on earth did, he figure out that I am pregnant. Damn it, damn it, damn it. I don't even remember what I am supposed to say or do. For the love of god fuck my life. I'll just have to stray him from the topic. I can already feel myself gnawing at my lip and cheek.

"For, fuck sakes Edward." I bite my lip so hard that I can taste bit of the blood. The irony taste makes me feel even sicker right now but I need to keep it together. "I am not going to the stinking hospital and you can't make me." I squirm to get the heck out of here before the whole thing spills out. He holds me like a vice, making any movement impossible. "Let me go Edward or so god, help you."

"Either we go to the hospital or I take you to my house and examine you." I don't want to do any of that but I guess picking the lesser of the two evils is my only option.

"Edward... fine let us limp to your house. How far is it?"

"It is quite close from here." We walk slowly to his house. I am beginning to think that he is dragging this out on purpose. I feel him sniffing my hair. I don't know what to make of that gesture, should I be offended or flattered. Seeing how it is him, I am just annoyed and I feel like this is all in a plan of his to get me to talk to him. He doesn't get to just talk to me after all of this time, nor should he be allowed to get off on my scent. As we approach the house there are cement steps which lead us inside. He sweeps me off of my feet and carries me inside.

The house is gorgeous of course, it reminds me of the one in Forks: old, huge, Victorian style home and the color scheme is neutral and cool but feels homely at the same time. I wonder if he lives alone or if the whole family is living here? I don't think my emotions are up for a former, sort of family reunion, although if they all did live here I would at least be able to get some advice from Alice. She is the only person I still really miss only because she just knows everything and how to make things right, I could really use that right now considering how much of a fuckery I am in.

"You have a very beautiful house." I say to make polite conversation, more than anything. I just don't know what to say to him everything in the past seems to make everything in the present that much more strange. We did not end on good terms I don't understand how he can just all of the sudden be so friendly to me after that. He places me on the couch and sits down next to me.

"Thank you very much, Esme picked and designed the house." He grabs my ankle again; the pain seems to have intensified since the walk.

"May I take off your shoe?" I bite my lip and grimace "I will be as quick as possible." He could be as quick as lighting it would not make it hurt any less.

"Just do it then." I feel him yank the shoe off and I cringe back in agony. I look at him through my hair, which has scattered around my face and I see his face in pain for my pain.

"Sorry, why don't you look away while I take the sock off?" I don't know why he thinks that that would make it any better.

"Ugh, why can't you just leave the sock on?" I retort it would be so much less painless if he did.

"I can't see through socks Bella." I tilt my head backwards and grip the couch. I decide to think about happy things, less pain full things, as he peels the sock off. I hear him smash something and then I feel the cooling sensation. It numbs the pain quickly, I lessen my vice grip on the couch and relax. I feel as if I am home here. I open my eyes when I feel the couch jerk slightly. Edward skin looks green and his face is contorted with anger. I have not seen him this way since that day in the clearing with James and his coven.

"Edward, are you all right?" He doesn't even look at me or respond. His skin is getting worse in colour. I begin to get up and help him when he bolts from the couch. I watch as he crawls and holds himself to the wall as he takes off to somewhere in the house. I consider calling out to him or going after to find him but my ankle protests. I'll just wait and for him doesn't come back I will good looking for him. I hear a toilet flush and I sigh with relief. I call to him to make sure he is alright. "Edward?" As he walks back into the room I take a good look at him, he doesn't look any better than when he left. As much as I hate this man, I can't help but feel an absolute concern for him and his health.

"Bella, I am right here, sorry. I think the alcohol I had last night is disagreeing with me." This is the last piece of evidence I need to conclude that he is in fact a human. I have some many questions for him. Why on earth has he not told me yet? I contemplate asking him questions but the anger I feel for him not telling me himself shuts me up. He sits back down and stares at me. He seems to have calmed down some but I can still sense the anger in his eyes. "Your ankle should be fine, doesn't look broken." He says this flatly without emotion.

"That is good, I guess." I reply with the same monotone voice. I look around to avoid the awkwardness between us. The house really is marvelous Esme has outdone herself. Every piece of furniture fits even an awkward chair that if you saw it in a store and had this room in mind you would not even bother with it but it fits perfectly. I guess she just has an eye for interior design.

I turn back to face him and to possibly catch him staring. He is looking at the dining room, I can see his stitches more clearly now. I feel the tear welling up in my eyes; I thankfully stop them before they can make an appearance. I can't believe I ruined Edwards's beautiful face. "I see you have stitches on you cheek. I am truly sorry about that. I didn't think that would happen, in fact how on earth did that happen?"

"Don't worry about the stitches, I'll be fine. Carlisle is very good at make sure scares are tidy and as unnoticeable as possible. It is a long story how it happened, I'd love to tell you sometime, just not today." Of course he doesn't want to tell me. He never tells me anything.

"Whatever."

"Believe me I want to tell you there is nothing more on this earth that would make me feel better than to tell you everything." I highly doubt that. I don't get why he can't, we are on the same playing field now. Knowing how it happened is not going to matter.

"It is fine Edward, I really don't care. You still did what you did and nothing you say can change that." I should just leave being here any longer, will just hurt more. There is no point he is not going to tell me and I really don't care anymore. I drag myself up from the couch and sort of stand up.

"Bella you can't even walk; what are you doing. I need to wrap your foot up and then if you must leave I'll drive you home." I plop myself back down on the couch and he wraps my foot cautiously like it would break under his touch. We head out the door into his car; the shiny Volvo makes its return, to me though the car is nothing but a shiny metal reminder of his douchery. "Bella, may I ask you a question?" I don't understand how he can think this is fair to me. Demand answers but not give them when asked. Does he honestly think I would give him anything? I am grown up now, it is about time he did as well.

"I don't believe I owe you any questions seeing how you don't answer mine."

"Look, I will give you all the answers you need just not now; I have that supper tonight with Nick. We can talk anytime just not today. Will you answer my question?"

"Fine!" I say sternly. I could answer him does not mean it will be the right answer.

"Bella, I am being very serious when I ask you that if you weren't ok you would tell me right?" Has he seen through me somehow, we have only talked twice and he has somehow already guessed what is going on? Oh god I can't let him find out he will be killed for sure, I know I don't own him anything but I don't know that I will not let him sacrifice himself to save me. He deserves better than that. I cautiously mull over the words in my head to stir the conversation elsewhere.

"What are you talking about Edward; you really need a lesson in not being so god damn cryptic."

"Just be careful, is what I am saying and if anything thing happens tell me, I will take care of it."

"Ok... Edward." I roll my eyes for good measure to make it seem like his fishing expedition was a complete waste of time.

"Please take this seriously."

"I will, all right."

"That works for me." We reach my house and he helps me to the living room.

"Will you be fine on the couch?"

"Yes I will be fine."

"You know you really should go to the hospital and have a work up." He is still the same old Edward, worrying about everything.

"Edward, just go home, Jesus." I watch him as he walks out the door.

"Stay safe Bella; see you tonight at the dinner." I nod my head. Once the door closes behind him I sigh in relief. Now only if I did not have to see him again there would be no reason to care about the lies I am spreading.

I lay on the couch reprimanding myself for not just telling the truth, I can't lie I feel so guilty and I have not even scratched the surface. It will be a miracle if I can make it through supper. I need to get off the couch and act like nothing happened today. If Nick finds out about it, I am sure he will not be too pleased. I hobble up the stairs to my bedroom and grab some pills. I take a couple to keep the pain at bay. Sleep takes over, I feel my eyes trying to fight it off but there is no point, I just hope the nightmares are only slightly unpleasant instead of the usual unbearable ones.

Jolted awake by banging of cabinets and cookware coming from downstairs, I sit up and stretch out my aches. I look over to the clock on the bedside table and realize that I am seriously running late. The supper starts in under half an hour. I don't have time to have a shower and I don't think my ankle would enjoy it anyway. I take a look at my ankle to make sure. It is somewhat less swollen but I don't think I could wear high heels. I head to my closet as fast as my ankle will allow me and get ready for tonight. I grab the blue dress that nick had in mind and quickly put it on. I then head to the bathroom to fix my sweaty, tangle, bush of hair. I straighten it poorly and then re-curl it to give a nicer look. It is not what I had in mind but I don't have the time to do anything else. I apply minimal make-up and head downstairs heels in tow.

I notice when I reach the dining room to sit down no one is there yet. I take my seat a quickly slip on my high heels. I lean over in my chair to see the clock in the kitchen, there is five minutes until six. Where the hell is Nick? The door bell rings and Kate gets it. I hear Edward's voice as he greets Kate. Damn you Nick, you just had to be late, now I have to be alone with Edward again. He walks in and looks around some, I guess looking for Nick. He is here for business after all. He finally sits down and gives me that good old crooked grin of his.

"You look lovely tonight Bella." I am wearing blue dress tonight. My mind takes me back to junior prom. The blue dress, how romantic the whole school looked, and even though I could not dance to save my life. I chuckle to myself; it was one of the best and worst days of my life.

"Thanks Edward, you look much better now, than when I saw you this morning." It is true; I guess a nice suit will make anyone look like a million bucks.

"Yeah I should not drink, it is absolutely awful. How is your ankle, did you do as I asked?" I feel myself getting an ulcer in my stomach from his constant nagging.

"If you are talking about if I went to the hospital, then no I did not go." I reply curtly. I am about one hundred present sure he knew the answer before he asked the question.

"Bella." He says in such a tone, it begs to be mocked.

"Edward." I am acting childish I know but he is not my warden maybe my friend but even friends don't sit there and nag.

"Be reasonable. If anything happens to you I won't forgive myself for not dragging you to the hospital myself."

"If I go tomorrow will you just drop it?" This is a bluff, I am sure he knows this.

"Yes, but I know you are lying." I blush profusely; he always just knows these things. It is frustrating that he can just turn me into a gelatin dessert.

"Drop it alright." I say in more of an attempt to get him to stop due to my embarrassment more than anything.

"Of course, where is Nick, he is running awfully late." What I want to say is banging some chick, maybe even Jessica. But it would be stupid of me to say such things at the dinner table. I don't understand if this were a real business deal and Nick was late he would have lost the deal by now why doesn't Edward back out. He is not stupid.

"Who knows? Maybe you should just get out while you can. I hate to see you waste money on an idiot like him." His eyes light up like a kid on Christmas morning. I feel rather confused at his reaction. I go over the words I just said in my head and nothing I said seems to make me think that the reaction he is giving me is a normal one. There is no point in trying to figure out the infamous Edward Cullen, he is just too mysterious for his own good. I take a sip of water and just drop my previous thoughts. When he starts digging around in his coat pocket is when I start to worry again about that earlier reaction. He pulls out an envelope and curiosity takes over.

"Bella, I was wondering if I could give you something. It didn't cost any money and it really is the least I could do after all of this time lost." He rambles on like a child caught and trying to explain itself. "It is just a letter to you, nothing in it, no money or anything else you hate, just words. You don't even have to read it. Burn it if you wish." Edward goes on nervously. He hands the letter to me; I grasp the edge of it not trying to touch his skin because that is where all our problems begin. Even while I grab the edge our fingers still brush against each other lightly. That familiar jolt of energy surges in my body. I want nothing more than to give in to its intensity, to only forgive him and remove ourselves from society and live on an island where nothing exists but the two of us. Real live is what puts me back in my place.

I examine the envelope; it is thick and feels more expensive than regular paper. I run my fingers across the edge, it so smooth and crisp. I think about opening it and then my mind goes to Nick. What the Fuck is Edward thinking bringing me some sort of apology, love letter? This very letter could get me killed if someone found out about it. I rip it up into as many pieces as I can, as much as the words call to me I cannot let this hurt me.

I tuck the pieces of the note in my dress pocket while he is not looking. I take a good look at Edward, his head is down and I can feel his pain from across the table. I wish I could tell him that it was the only thing I could do to protect us but this is my secret alone. Awkwardness now fills the room. I suppose this is how it will always be between us. I am sure without a doubt in my mind that he will never give up and that someday I will. Not one of us says a word I can sense his desire to do so.

"Please tell me where we stand, things seemed better this morning and now they have gone back to frigid. I don't know what to do. I cannot bare the rest of my life without you. I'll take anything I can get with you even if we are just friends. Just look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me and I will go forever." Edward pleads with me. Here he is pouring his heart out and all I can do is act like a frosty bitch. My eyes well up with tears, if only it were as simple as he suggests. I don't answer his question there just cannot be an answer without the truth pouring out of me.

Thankfully or unthankfully depends on how you look at things Nick finally shows up. He is already drunk. The behaviour of him getting wasted before signing contracts with a partner is odd to say the least. If this mattered to him he would have not done what he has done. Something must be up, not that I give much of a damn. He takes his seat without apologizing first or even tiding himself up, I can smell the Jack Daniels from here.

"Sorry I am late. There was some business that just wasn't letting go. I see my wife has been on her best behaviour. No broken glasses this time." He laughs a little excessively.

"Your wife has been quite entertaining." Edward jokes along with him. Kate brings in our supper and I can't help but notice her little brief touch of Edward. She reminds me of the waitress at the restaurant in Port Angeles where Edward and I first, actually went out in a way. It was the night I told him about knowing his secret. I was in love with him even then, even with all the unworthiness, and guilt he held.

"That is good, not too entertaining I hope. I would not want to have to shoot you before we finish our business deal." My eyes widen with shock and the sip of water I just took goes down the wrong pipe. He sounds like he is joking but something in his tone seems more serious. "Bella are you alright?" Nick asks flatly.

"I am fine. Your joke just took me by surprise." I cough a couple more times and to my surprise Nick is actually touching me. He rubs my back to calm me. His touch isn't soothing though, it feels foreign and it makes me long for a memory of someone else soothing me but when they did that it was because they actually wanted to. As he is doing this is I look in Edward's direction. His soft green eyes have hardened and don't look so kind anymore. Nick doesn't seem to notice a thing.

"Let us eat this glorious meal and get our deal out of the way later. Bring the alcohol Kate." Kate brings out one of the bottles from Nicks collection. Nick appears to be the only one drinking anything tonight though. I can only wish and I do want some, so badly right now. I know that is not how you are suppose to deal with your problems, drinking is for celebrating, having a good time, not for drowning your sorrows.

There has not been much chat during dinner, some silent glances between me and Edward and an odd drunk yammering from Nick. We are about three quarters through supper when Nick decides to bring up the contract again. "How about, we discuss that contract now." He gets the speech out without slurring to badly, kind of surprising given how much alcohol he has consumed.

"Are you sure, you are really drunk right now." Edward says a bit surprised. I would be too. You don't just sign a multi- million dollar contract while inebriated. I don't believe that that contract if signed tonight would be legally binding. Maybe that was what Edward wanted, who knows.

"Yes, yes the contract is all ready just needs some signing." He looks to me, in disgust "Wife, come here. Go grab the contract off of my desk." There is no point in fighting him tonight; he won't remember it in the morning. I quickly take off my heels so I can just barely walk and go get him the contract. I grab some tape while I am in there. I also make a promise to myself that I will read the note or what I can repair of the note and then I will burn it. Nick will never know and everything will be okay. I leave him with the contract knowing that my services to Nick are no longer need and head to my bedroom.

Plopping down on the bed exhausted, I turn on a lamp and reach into my pocket and pull out the scraps of paper. I sigh, sit up and examine the pieces they are not as damaged as I thought. The paper was of a nicer variety so it holds up better. I begin the daunting task of putting the note back together. I should have never ripped it up so much. After much trial and error and a few "I give ups," I get about half of the note together. The other half of the note though is too ripped up to be put back together properly. Bile rises to my throat, my vision blurs, and I think my hands have lost all control as I flip the note over to read it. The note basically reiterates what he said to me at dinner, then it goes into him talking about something else and the last couple of lines that I am able to read are, _I couldn't give you anything and I wanted you to have everything. Indeed you have done as I wanted you to but Nick is not a person I would expect you to keep company. _That last line is what really draws me in. What and how much does Edward know? I go back to the scraps, looking for anything I can piece together to figure the meaning of that last line, damn it.

I re-read the letter again. Tears brim my eyes, I can't keep denying who I am and what I want but I also can't just take off and start over. A well crafted plan begins with an idea and time to hash out the details, none of which I really have at the moment. One thing I have come to terms with is forgiveness. I need to forgive him and myself. This forgiveness is not in its entirety but enough to feel a thousand pounds lighter. I turn off the bedside lamp and head to sleep.

In my dream I feel like I am under water. My breathing suddenly stops and I can't regain it. My eyes flash open and it is completely dark still and something heavy is on top of me. The movement of the weight crushes my ribs. I must still be dreaming this cannot be happening. I see his eyes before I can see the rest of his body; he is clutching the note in his hand. I am such a stupid girl for not burning that damn thing. This has to be a dream is the last thought I have.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight**_

Chapter 7

**Bella's POV**

_There was a time, when men were kind  
And their voices were soft  
And their words were inviting  
There was a time, when love was blind  
And the world was a song  
And the song was exciting  
There was a time it all went wrong_

I dreamed a dream in time gone by  
When hope was high and life worth living  
I dreamed that love would never die  
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid  
And dreams were made and used and wasted  
There was no ransom to be paid  
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night  
With their voices soft as thunder  
As they turn your hope apart  
As they turn your dreams to shame

He slept a summer by my side  
He filled my dreams with endless wonder  
He took my childhood in his stride  
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'd come to me  
That we would live the years together  
But there are dreams that cannot be  
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be  
So different from the hell I'm living  
So different now from what it seemed  
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed-

_**Les Miserables**_**_ - I Dreamed a Dream_**

There is a burning sensation in my lungs from lack of oxygen. This is it, isn't it? I am going to die here at the hands of him because I could not, not read the letter from Edward. The burning intensifies, I try to fight him off but what is one hundred and ten pounds to a solid one-eighty. Floating black spots dance around my vision not a single one, am I able to focus on. My eyes seem to dart around uncontrollably, one moment watching his face filled with rage and then looking over towards the wedding picture on my bedside table. How to the different the two are. Nick is slurring something but I can no longer hear anything but my loud irregular heart beating as frantic as it can.

My mind reminds me of a time when something similar had happened to me. It was when I was at the hands of James. I can't say I felt completely terrified then because I knew Edward would save me and I knew that I loved him enough to die for him if it were to happen. Now I feel nothing but sheer terror, no one can save my ass now. If only I had the power to fight back and win. I will not give up without a fight even if that fight is mostly one-sided. I hear a sickening crunching sound, I am not sure if it is me or something else. My eyes trail around in a blur and I can't feel anymore.

I awaken once again I feel a cold hard floor beneath me. I am laying somewhere, I try to move my hands or my feet but it seems they are both tied up. My hands are both stinging in pain especially my right hand and my neck as well. My mouth has something covering it to stop any potential screams. My eyes dart around to take in the room but it is too dark to catch much. There is a cold breeze coming from somewhere above. I count in my head to keep from having a panic attack.

One hundred and twenty thousand seven hundred and eighty-four, that is how many seconds have passed since I started my count. I stop counting for a second and I just lose it. Tears are streaming down my face like a water-fall. My hands buck against the restraints so hard that I can smell the blood trickling from my wrist down to my fore-arms. The smell makes me light-headed and I drift in and out. After a while I get control over the passing out due to blood feeling.

My mind immediately goes to Edward; he is not a vampire anymore. He could get hurt just like I could and if he did it would be my fault for not being careful enough. If Nick kills me I could not care less but if he killed Edward it would hurt so many people. He has a family that needs him. I won't let Nick take that away I'll put the blame on me completely. Dying for a better cause seems like the way to go. Just like when James got me. We will both be free.

The panic building in my chest slows a little. The formulation of my plan to sacrifice myself to save Edward. It is the right thing to do. Now I just need Nick to come back so I can end what I let start in the first place. For the first time since he brought me here I feel okay. I know how wrong that is but I just want freedom from everything. Sometimes you reach a certain point in life where dying is better than anything else out there, dying after knowing of love and hate is a death of satisfaction.

Edward deserves better and I now understand why he left in the first place. He wanted me to have what he thought was better because he saw that a human was better but now that we are both human it is me who realizes that Edward as a human deserves the best his last life could give him and I am too broken now to give it to him. My eye lids get heavier and I can't fight the sleep any longer. I only pray that I don't have nightmares.

**Edward's POV**

_Lying beside you  
Listening to you breathe  
The life that flows inside of you  
Burns inside of me  
Hold and speak to me  
Of love without a sound  
Tell me you will live through this  
And I will die for you  
Cast me not away  
Say you'll be with me  
For I know I cannot  
Bear it all alone- Evanescence_

I awaken in the morning with a feeling of sickness in my stomach. Something isn't right and I am not sure what. I roll over to the night table to check my cell-phone for messages and texts. A text message from Nick that I have missed glares in the soft glow of the screen. That is surprising, though I guess I did demand him to come to my office for a meeting this morning and that is exactly what he is requesting of me this morning at eleven. I reply that I will meet him at eleven. I look over to the clock it is seven, I guess a shower is on the agenda.

I thought a nice hot shower would sooth my anxiety but on the contrary it has added fuel to my out of control thoughts. What if Nick remembers the conversation last night and now has awoken and knows what my real intentions are. I guess I will just have to deal with him. There is no proof; I can convince him that he is paranoid or something along those lines. Not my best plan but good enough on short notice.

I make it to the office at about thirty minutes to eleven. The office practically runs itself; I am just the brains and its head. As I walk towards my office many people look like they have seen a ghost. I look back a couple of times and I only get more confused at the stares. I approach Kelly, my secretary and she is staring at me just like them. I glare back at he and she gets right back to work on the computer. She stops typing on the computer and looks back up to me. Her scared tremors are clearly visible.

"May I ask why you and everyone else is look at me like I am back from the dead?" She bites her lip looks down and then looks around the room a bit and then looks back to me. I roll my eyes there is something in the water this morning.

"Um, well there were rumors about your erratic behaviour and you have not shown up for work for a while then someone burst in here and told me that you had died, so when I saw you just a couple of minutes ago it shocked me."

"Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? I had a meeting last night and just a couple of days ago. You knew about all of that the last time I called you, which was yesterday."

"But some manic came in here screaming that you had died, the guy was acting hysterical about it. He said something about you and a long-lost love getting in a car accident late last night." I am getting quite fed up with Kelly; I should have never asked her what was up. Now I have maybe ten minutes to prepare.

"You know what Kelly, if you are going to believe in everything you hear then I think you will end up living in misery. Get back to work I have a meeting with Nick Valyntin. While I prepare for that if anyone asks I am in-fact not dead, I don't plan on dying tomorrow and we will see when it comes to the day after that." She looks at me wide-eyed and gets back to work quickly. I have never been stern with her so the response is nothing out of ordinary. This morning is starting to feel like a bad Twilight Zone episode. I walk into my office not looking back to the party that has start near Kelly's desk. All in a day of a fake business, I hum that familiar lullaby to myself to calm down.

I begin to write possible excuses for what happened last night if he brings it up. I could just go with a bi-sexual thing, I'd rather he think I am a gay man than a wife stealer. I have no track record to suggest that I'm into women. I have never dated anyone besides Bella and he doesn't know about that nor could he find out unless Bella or I tell him. Five minutes to eleven Kelly calls to tell me that Nick is here. I tell her to let him in and I compose myself and keep the urge to strangling him at bay.

The first thing I notice is how unkempt he is. Hair in disarray, it doesn't look kindly with the angles of his face. The outfit he is wearing, I could swear that it is the same one from last night, black pinned stripped pants with a baby blue button down just like he is wearing now. My gut spasms, telling me something is wrong. The blood in my head whooshes out, I feel considerably light-headed than I felt earlier. He is a man of complete vainness; he would never wear the same thing twice. I motion for him to take a seat. He looks at me in what I would interpret to a smug look. Nothing is sure anymore without the mind reading.

"You look quite sick Edward; I guess the alcohol did a number on you last night." Nick says sarcastically, while looking around in my office. I guess he doesn't remember as much I thought he might. I did not drink a drop last night. "God you office is just as ugly as your house. Who designs for you man, really couldn't you find someone who knew what they were doing? I get it though, I mean why waste valuable money on a great office when a sub-standard one does the job but saves money. You and I are so alike but I do need to discuss some things with you." My mind stalls at the house part what on earth is he talking about he hasn't been to my house. This guy is nuts and I am losing my patience with him. I better set things straight now.

"First off Nick, you have never seen my house, so how would you know how it looks but it seems to me that you seem to know. Why you broke into my house, I really don't care; there is nothing there that you would be capable of finding. Secondly, my mother designed my office and I could give about zero fucks on your opinion of interior design, lastly you and I are nothing alike. I want to get this through you fucking head right here and now. Like I said last night I could ruin you." He shrugs at me as if my words have no value to him at all. His face remains impassive except for the odd smirk he gives me. What kind of fucking game is this bastard playing? The idea of ending ruining his business just keeps getting better and better, I bankrupt him and run off into the sunset with Bella. It would be more complicated than that, life isn't a movie or book but I just think that it could work. "I've decided..."

"Wait before you say anything I want to say my piece first. I no longer want your deal. I want all of you company one hundred percent, stocks included and you will get nothing in return." My eyebrows furrow and my face scrunches up in either anger, shock, or I think I am trying to stifle a bout of laughter that threatens to escape. I compose myself and stare him straight in the eye to understand the deal he is giving me. I look back down after getting nothing from him. Unless he knows I was a vampire and has solid proof he has nothing on me... realization dawns on me. I feel my stomach clenching the bile that threatens to make an appearance. I look back at him; my face must show exactly what he wants because he is grinning slyly. "Now that we are on the same page, draw up the papers." My fists ball closed and the rage seethes through me, this pain is much worse than any other kind of pain, worse than becoming a vampire.

"Where is she, you piggly bastard." I stand up to tower over him and to possible beat him senseless if he doesn't respond rapidly. He stands up to try to match my height. "The fact that you would harm your own wife and unborn child is a heinous crime in its own class. You will pay, where is she?" He grins at me, I am dying to just punch his face.

"First I want the papers saying that the company is mine." My lungs squeeze tighter and tighter with each passing breath. I sit back down and draw up a document giving him the company. I print it off and sign it. Not a single ounce of hesitation, Bella is worth any price.

"Here have the fucking company." I throw the papers at him. "I don't give a shit, now where is she?" I spit out raggedly.

"Come with me and I will take you to her." He motions for me to come as he walks out the door. I know it is stupid to go with him without someone with me but she needs me and I will do anything. We go into a black on black SUV, the windows tinted. He must have just gotten this car because the only car I know he owns is a black Mercedes and Bella's car is not an SUV either. I stay visually aware of my surroundings as we travel outside of Seattle. I know this place like the back of my hand. I begin to realize though that this all seems so simple, him giving me her that easily without strings attached, unless he thinks that my business is that important to me. Something is not right here, I have felt this way all day and it is still not letting up. The driver pulls over and I see it before I feel it, Nick has a crowbar.

**AU note: This one is a little short only because I am and a cross roads now. The direction I planned on taking this has somehow created an alternative way to go and I am not sure which way I want to take. We are just starting to get into the action and towards the prologue and where the crisis story spilt has screwed with me. I am also not sure how long this story will be one road is longer than the other but I kind of like ending with a mind-fuck. I hope you liked this chapter and review.**


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